21 Weird Things That Would Happen If Your Work Was Like Primary School
Turn around, touch the ground, bagsy not doing that project.
1. Everyone would be made to wear the exact same outfit, including a sweatshirt with the company logo on, and a pair of "sensible" shoes.
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2. You'd have to go to work via your mum's house every morning so that you could pick up the lunch she made you.
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In your favourite lunch box of course!
3. And there would be a very angry old lady in the office canteen who forced you to eat your crusts.
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4. If your boss said good morning to you, you'd have to reply by singing "Good mooorning Mrs Waaatsoooon" back at her.
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And the whole office would do it in unison at the beginning of each day.
5. You'd have to put your hand up and ask your boss if you were allowed to go to the toilet.
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And sit there waiting for ages if they didn't notice you.
6. Midway through the morning you'd all get to leave your desks and chase each other around the street behind your office.
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Not weird at all.
7. You'd write all of your very serious reports using WordArt, or set fire to the edges to make it look old.
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8. Each day, everyone in the company would have to go into a big hall and sit on a hard floor, except for the boss, who would stand at the front and read a fable.
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Senior management would get to sit on benches at the back.
9. You'd then all be forced to sing hymns, even if you didn't believe in Christianity.
10. HR would just be an old woman with a large supply of blue paper towels.
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Suzie from Accounts has been bullying you? Put a wet paper towel on it!
11. Each summer you'd have to put a small bean bag on your head and race all your colleagues down a track. The winner gets a pay rise.
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12. You could get out of boring work by simply saying: "Turn around, touch the ground, bagsy not doing that project."
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13. All important business decisions would be made with a rubber.
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The rubber is the real boss.
14. The office Christmas party would always be at a bowling alley, where everyone would get hyper on Slush Puppies.
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15. There would be one co-worker who seemed like they got a nosebleed every single day, and it'd always cause a massive commotion.
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16. Everything would get totally fucked for six weeks every summer because no one would turn up to work.
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Chairs on desks!
17. It would be a huge deal when one of you found out your boss's first name.
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18. There would be no office snacks, instead one co-worker would run an illicit sweets black market from one of their desk drawers.
19. Everyone would moan about how much work there was to do, even though it was just 10 spellings and colouring in a map.
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20. Everyone would lose their shit every time a dog walked past the office.
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DOG IN THE PLAYGROUND! DOG IN THE PLAYGROUND!
21. And when you got a new job, on your last day everyone would have to sign your shirt.
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And it would end up with at least three dicks on it.