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"Have you always had a beard?" Yep, ever since I was a baby...
Mate, I passed that stage long ago. This shit just feels good.
I would look about six. Let's move on.
Yes, ever since I was a baby. I arrived from my mother's womb with a great big bushy mass of facial hair, and she's hated me for it ever since.
I dunno, why don't you ask science.
To them: "Obviously, it's my face..."
Secretly: "Nope."
Well, errrr, it's on my face so I'm gonna say no?
With a beard trimmer. Next.
Oh, I do rigorous nightly face exercises and then cover my face with a homemade lotion I cooked up out of honey, aloe vera and rat blood. That, or I'm just better than you.
Tell you what, you're never gonna find out.
Maybe, but let me see if I can stick a pencil in your face first.
Yep, it's called pudding.
Sorry, I didn't hear you, got to go now, bye...
What does that even mean?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Because I am a magical wizard and I do what I please.
Nah, not really.
I'd rather not look like a twat, tbh.
I literally could not care less about your terrible opinions. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm busy looking awesome.
Fuck off.