21 Pictures That Prove Hipsters Should Be Banned From Food Forever

Kale me now.

1. These cheesy beans on toast for which you have to grate the cheese yourself with a mini grater.

So much fun!!!!!!!

2. This crab mousse served in a fallen-over flowerpot lying on a plank.

A sentence no one should ever have to write.

3. These veganic sprouted brown rice cacao crisps.

AKA Coco Pops for twats.

4. This fried breakfast served on an actual fucking spade.

Actually super useful, because now you have something to dig the grave of the person who served it to you!

5. Kale AND quinoa popcorn, because one stereotype is not enough.

Yours for just £6 a kernel!

6. This muesli, which is made out of flowers instead of food.

The only time you’re supposed to eat flowers is when you are 4 years old and bored.

7. This delicious burger, thoughtfully served on weighing scales so you get to feel terrible for the entire time you’re eating it!

Thanks, guys!!!!

8. These ice cream cones, which seem perfectly fine until you get to “pine”.


9. Brusselmole. Brussels sprout guacamole.

Perfect for anyone who enjoys horrible versions of normally delicious foods!

10. Not terrible enough for you? Try Kaleamole!

Please kale me now.

11. This prawn cocktail that comes in a bin.

Fitting, since it looks like garbage.

12. Prosecco and elderberry flavour crisps.

Two questions: how and why?

13. These lamb chops and potatoes crammed into a fucking tumbler.

Seriously, not even funny.

14. This actual coconut with a ring pull.

This season’s must-have accessory!

15. Sustainable smoked eel bruschetta.

For either £2.50 or £25, and it really could be either.

16. This “deconstructed Vietnamese sandwich”.

Imagine ordering a sandwich and having this turn up.

17. This lovely* refreshing** pint of spaghetti bolognese.

**Dry as fuck.

18. This cauliflower and kale taco.

What did tacos do to deserve this?

19. These green chicken, lemon, and kale sausages.

They look really appetising and not at all like a poo you would do shortly before calling an ambulance!

20. Cactus Jerky.

Spikes hopefully not included, but you never know, do you?

21. Bonus: This beer that doesn’t come with a ring pull. Instead there’s a special opener you have to use to punch a hole in the top yourself.

Fuck. Off.

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