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19 Things Only People Who Don't Drink Coffee Understand

Coffee is to coffee drinkers what petrol is to cars – they break down if they don't have enough.

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2. And you find it hard to imagine what it must be like to rely on coffee like so many other people do.

Coffee is to coffee drinkers what petrol is to cars – they break down if they don't have enough.

3. A cup of coffee is in no way a legitimate breakfast.

Breakfast is supposed to be food, and there are so many incredible options it seems criminal to neglect it. Anyone who thinks coffee on its own is an acceptable breakfast needs to go and sit in a bin for a while and think about what they've done.

4. And people who drink it after dinner in the evening make even less sense.

Dan Harmon Productions / Harmonious Claptrap

Coffee is a drink that feeble people use to wake up in the morning. WHY WOULD YOU DRINK IT AT NIGHT TIME BEFORE YOU GO TO BED? WHAT IS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?


5. Coffee menus mean literally nothing to you.

What the fuck is the difference between a piccolo latte and a latte? What even is a latte? And why do you need to specify flat white? Is there a fizzy white too?

7. Talking of Starbucks, to you it is just a pointless place for buying overpriced food.

8. And you definitely cannot understand the obsession with pumpkin spice lattes.

No one eats pumpkin ever, so why do people go so mad for it when a man who has deliberately spelt your name wrong to confuse you puts it in your drink?


9. You don't see why people spend so much money on coffee when it could be spent on food instead.

10. Or on alcohol – because if you're paying that much money for a drink then it should 100% be getting you wasted.

You can buy a whole bottle of cheap wine for the same price as a Starbucks coffee. It'll be horrible, but it'll get you drunk.


14. "Coffee jitters" are something you will never have to experience.

#50HourSlam suppressing caffeine jitters #you shall edit

Why would you drink something that makes you physically shake?


19. There is one thing all non-coffee-drinkers definitely know – you are the superior people.