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    21 Of The Funniest One-Liner Jokes Ever Told

    I like to hold hands at the movies. Which always seems to startle strangers.

    1. British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children.

    2. Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

    3. The pollen count, now that's a difficult job.

    4. My wife told me: "Sex is better on holiday."

    5. I once dated a guy so dumb he couldn't count to 21.

    6. I could tell my parents hated me.

    7. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.

    8. I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died.

    9. I have a lot of growing up to do.

    10. Onions make me sad.

    11. I'm on a whiskey diet.

    12. Even the word "misogyny" is misogynistic.

    13. A girl called me the other day and said, "Come over, nobody's home", so I went over.

    14. My photographs don't do me justice.

    15. I want to write a mystery novel.

    16. As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day.

    17. Exit signs.

    18. Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is?

    19. Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict.

    20. I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs.

    21. I've got a girlfriend. I've been going out with her for...