We Showed Americans Things From Our British Childhoods – And They Got Very Confused

Spoiler: Everyone was terrified of Mr Blobby.

1. Mr Blobby

Via virginmedia.com

Who is this dude and how does he make you feel?

Logan: OMFG! What is this? It looks like one of those stress balls that when you squeeze it, the eyes pop out. This is terrifying. I can't believe you watched this thing as children...

Sam: His name is Mr Terror and he is terrifying.

Erin: This is the pink bowling pin from my reoccurring nightmares and he makes me feel inadequate.

Crystal: OMG, no.

2. Plimsolls/Pumps/Daps

en.wikipedia.org

What are these called and what did we use them for?

Sam: These look like shoes a hospital would give you so if you escape, everyone knows to bring you back to there.

Logan: These look like loafers, but I don't get the velcro part. Do they go over your regular shoes? Based on those thick ridges on the sole, I'm guessing you put these over your shoes when you need extra grip. Ain't no sliding in these shoes.

Crystal: Do these qualify as "trainers"? They're made for making lazy people's lives easier I would imagine.

3. The Chuckle Brothers

blackpoolgrand.co.uk

What do these two do?

Erin: Sell used cars?

Sam: Call rugby matches on TV?

Logan: They do magic, BUT... they do it with a comedic twist. Either that, or they just do corny jokes and visual gags like when Austin Powers is behind the couch and goes, "I think I'll take... the stairs".

Crystal: Impersonate each other.

4. Mr Men

mrmen.wikia.com

Name each of these characters.

Crystal: Mr Tentacle Porn, Mr Failed Attempt At A Mummy, Lil Miss I'm On My Period, Fuck Off.

Sam: Mr Arms, Mr Accident, Mr Nothingness.

Erin: These cartoons are from overpriced shirts at Urban Outfitters. They're called Mr Reacharound, Krazy Karl (he's clinically insane), and the Purple Merkin.

5. Steps

stepsofficial.co.uk

Who are these guys and what were they famous for?

Erin: Is it a '90s sitcom about five friends living in New York City who live across the hall from each other and they hang out at a coffee shop too much?

Logan: Is this S Club 7? Wait, is the 7 in S Club 7 because there are 7 members? This isn't S Club 7, is it? Wait. That girl on the left looks familiar. This is a TV show. Did S Club 7 have a TV show?

Crystal: S Club 7? Famous for looking really American.

6. Lizo Mzimba from Newsround.

BBC

Who is this man and why was he important?

Erin: Oh yes. I can trust this man. He looks like he would teach me about science on public access television right after school.

Logan: I have no idea who this man is, but he looks like someone who is about to go on Jeopardy and just school everyone.

Sam: He finally made jean jackets uncool.

7. The bleep test

youtube.com

What are these people doing and why?

Sam: Some sort of Hunger Games-esque training to weed out the weak.

Crystal: Well, I don't know about all of them, but that one girl, miss slow as fuck, failed to touch the line with her foot, so as far as I'm concerned she needs to be kicked out of this game.

Erin: I'm not sure if this is the same thing but in America we call these "Suicides." Like, they don't even try to sugarcoat it. You run from the baseline of a basketball court to the top of the key, back to the baseline to the half court line, back to the baseline to the opposite court key line, back to the baseline to the opposite court baseline, and then you undo the entire thing. PHYSICAL! EDUCATION!

8. Otis the Aadrvark

CBBC / youtube.com

Who is this guy? What did he do?

Crystal: He is the child of a rabbit and a pig... I think? Looks like he works at a drive-thru.

Erin: Is this what Alf looked like before he got famous and jaded? Judging from the uniform he works at a fast food restaurant but he dreams of one day becoming a Broadway actor.

Sam: He looks like he hosts a public service announcement about not letting strange repairmen into your home.

Logan: I am going to say this is an aardvark and he teaches kids how to spell. He probably has a name that employs alliteration like... Arthur. All aardvarks are named Arthur.

9. Ant and Dec as PJ and Duncan

BBC

Do you recognise these two? How were they known back in these days?

Logan: No idea who the guy on the left is, but I think that dude on the right is the judge for Britain's Got Talent. So he's a... singer? Meaning this must be that popular singing group... umm... "Back Aga1n."

Erin: This screams "MTV In The Early '90s." I recognize them from when my older cousins would have their friends pick them up in a shitty Ford Taurus before the family party was even over.

Sam: No idea, but they seem nice.

Crystal: Ant and Dec! The original Pop Idol hosts, fuck you Ryan Seacrest! LOL.

10. Jane Norman carrier bags

ebay.co.uk

What's the significance of these?

Erin: There's probably a five-mile wide island floating somewhere in the Pacific Ocean made entirely of these bags. I assume they're from some kind of clothing shop where people impulse-bought tubs of body glitter from a display in front of the cash register.

Logan: You get one of these bags when you get your ears pierced at the mall.

Sam: These looks like bags from a store the Spice Girls would shop at.

11. Bernard's Watch

ITV / Via andrewnorriss.co.uk

What's this kid called and why does he love his watch so much?

Crystal: They called him Five Tooth Frank, and he loved that watch because he could go back to a time when he had all his teeth.

Erin: His grandfather smuggled it back from Vietnam in his butthole. His name is Brian.

Logan: That's ol' Toothless Tommy Tannomen with his trusty watch that he takes with him when he time travels.

Sam: I'm assuming the watch helps travel through time. There's no other reason to love a watch this much.

12. Football coins

gumtree.com

What are these?

Logan: Are these like trading cards for soc-err-football players? If so, that's kind of cool, except I would confuse them for money and accidentally spend a Gary Neville.

Sam: Some sort of pog?

Erin: This is money. We have that here too. But in America we put presidents on our money. I guess soccer players are as notable as presidents in the UK. That's cool. Soccer players probably started less wars.

13. Gooey aliens

hawkin.com

What is this and what did we believe we could do with them?

Sam: You could die if you drink that green stuff, probably.

Erin: I can smell this from here. This is something that definitely got banned in elementary schools because the black market trading was distracting kids from their studies. I don't know what people thought you could do with them besides ruin your mother's couch and get grounded for the weekend.

Crystal: This is the sorta thing that nightmares are made of. People probably thought they could throw them in the garbage.

14. Bodger and Badger

BBC

Who are these two and what's their favourite food?

Erin: That's Ol' Badgerface and the puppet's name is William. They loooove uncooked pasta. Crunch, crunch, crunch. The drier the better!

Crystal: French Badger and Farmer dude. They probably loved neeps and tatties. LOLOL.

Logan: These two probably had a TV show where the man would play a banjo or something and the puppet would sing along with him. Their favorite food is corn muffins.

Sam: It looks like the puppet's favorite food is human flesh.