13 Reasons Walter Mercado Is The Beyoncé Of TV Astrology

A look at TV's most gorgeous and talented astrologist, con mucho, mucho amor. He woke up like this.

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What you need to know: Walter Mercado is a TV astrologist.

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...And a legend. A former dancer, Walter appeared in telenovelas before eventually landing his own show, where he looked to the stars to dispense advice about love, finances, and health. Always with flair. Always with style. And always ending with his catchphrase: "...con mucho, mucho amor."

And he is the Beyoncé of TV astrology. To wit:

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Whether she's wearing designer gowns or a bedazzled denim skort and bustier combo by Tina Knowles, Beyoncé knows how to dress to impress. Similarly, Walter Mercado can wear the hell out of a velveteen three-piece suit or a metallic caftan with matching palazzo pants.

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Beyoncé's arches are used by angels when they need to quickly slide down from heaven. But Walter Mercado's eyebrows are escalators that lead directly to Jesus.

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Beyoncé's Single Ladies hand dance is now a mainstay at every bachelorette party and a hit among moms dancing in cars. But it pales in comparison to Walter Mercado's handskills. He spreads magic and good vibes with a wave of those perfectly manicured nails. His hands smell like hand sanitizer and the laughter of babies. Smell them.

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Beyoncé has been known to pair her outfits with everything from priceless jewels to even more priceless jewels, just like Walter Mercado does. That pinky ring is worth more than your entire life, and it still only barely deserves to touch his alabaster skin.

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Beyoncé's whipped stans into a frenzy when she cut her hair, and Walter Mercado's fans worship and name each and every single one of his blessèd follicles, because we know that every strand of hair growing out of them is like golden cotton candy cascading into a sunkissed mullet of pure beauty.

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Beyoncé has a glow about her, definitely. But Walter Mercado shines with an inner light that can be utterly blinding to the most basic among us. Proceed with caution.

Thank you for sharing your gift with all of us, Walter. That is, in itself, the greatest gift of all.