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Valentine's Day At Ages 10, 20, And 30

I choo-choo-choose pizza.

1. Valentine's Day Cards

At 10: You get a card from everyone in class featuring your favorite people and characters.

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At 20: People mask their increasing bitterness with layers of sarcasm and irony.

At 30: You send a text with ~dirty~ emojis.

2. Candy Hearts

At 10: You'll eat anything that's made of sugar, even if it kinda sorta definitely tastes like chalk.

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At 20: You give "jokey" candies to mask your fear of rejection and protect your poor, vulnerable heart.

At 30: Save the candy hearts, give us pizza.

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3. Alcohol

At 10: No. You are 10.

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At 20: Bring me your finest cheapest champagne!

At 30: More like ValenWINE. Haha. Sigh.

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4. Roses

At 10: You're not really sure what the big deal is. Won't they die, like, right away?

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At 20: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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At 30: You will give and receive roses and then wait much, much too long to finally throw them away.

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(Unless they're bacon roses, as seen above.)

5. Smoochin'

At 10: You think it's kinda gross, tbh.

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At 20: You are all about it.

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At 30: You'll smooch after six hours of Netflix, maybe.

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6. Love Songs

At 10: You MIGHT listen to a certain lovey-dovey song in private, but would never admit it.

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At 20: You belt out your favorite romantic song in the shower.

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At 30: You still think about that one love song you used to sing all the time when you were 20.

7. Secret Admirers

At 10: You feel awkward and great and terrible about knowing someone likes you.

At 20: You still feel kind of awkward. And also pretty thirsty.

At 30: You feel awkward, STILL. But also like maybe your admirer should take a number, because you know you're crush-worthy.

8. Chocolate

At 10: Yes.

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At 20: Yes.

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At 30: Yes.

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The lesson? Just sit back and enjoy eating a lot of chocolate, no matter your age.

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