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20 Thoughts Indoor People Have During Summer

Indoor people, unite! Over here, on the couch.

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1. Some of us are just not good at NOT being on a couch in an air-conditioned room.

Outside is where all the falling happens.

2. Many "fun" summer activities are essentially death traps.

We have to protect ourselves! Inside!

3. A Slip 'n Slide, for instance, is a dirty tarp that wants to maim you.

I want to stay inside and also in my skin.

4. The summer sun is a giant ball of death.

DreamWorks Pictures

Like, other than sustain life on this planet, what has it even done for me lately?

5. If you have to use special products to protect skin from the outdoors, maybe it means humans weren't MEANT to be outdoors!

Paramount Pictures

This is clearly science, people; don't argue with it.

6. You can't be murdered by an angry sea if you never go to the beach.

It's called self-preservation.

7. Do you know a good place to walk around and not get sand in your shoes, clothes, and soul? Inside.

It is cleaner in here.

8. And the ocean is essentially a giant toilet for whales.


A whale pooped in there. A lot.

9. Compare that to indoors, where couches and pillows live.


We are the kings and queens of the Cozy Kingdom.

10. The outdoors during summer are wild and unpredictable and full of wet, hissing things.


Why would I ever subject myself to that?

11. Summer is basically the time for bugs to make out and also eat you.

They're horny and they're hungry.

12. It is important for us to be near AC at all times or else even our eyelashes begin to sweat.

Comedy Central

It's unpleasant.

13. It's just a fact that the human body becomes 82% more disgusting in the summer.

DreamWorks Pictures

Bodies just weren't meant for this time of year, you see?

14. If you wear makeup, the outdoors will remove it for you.

Universal Pictures

"I just think people look better without makeup. :)" - The Outdoors, not minding its own business

15. And the summer heat will make you wonder why you even bothered putting clothes on.

16. But, if you just remain inside, you can hang out with your best friend, the fan.

I love fan.

17. Also - and this is important - inside is where the fridge is.

That's where magic lives.

18. Thinking about grilling or BBQing this summer? Enjoy all the burnt fly carcasses on your hot dogs.

Break Media

19. Do you really want to go to a BBQ only to spend the entire time dodging BITES?

Because here's a secret: THE BUGS WILL WIN.

20. Of course, there's at least one way to make the outdoors bearable for indoor folks...

Adult Swim
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