1. You don't even want to think about all the presents you need to buy.
2. You know that the longer you wait, the more expensive plane tickets home will be. And that stresses you out. So you wait even more.
3. You put off buying your Christmas tree so long that you end up with one that's basically just a branch.
4. ... And then you don't throw it away until, oh. Valentine's Day.
5. You realize it's now December and you still haven't bought presents.
6. On the plus side, the advantage to never having taken down your Christmas lights is that you never have to put them back up.
7. OK, it's the week before Christmas and you still haven't bought presents.
8. When you finally go out to buy eggnog, the only one left in the store is some weird soy variety.
9. When you finally sit down to buy presents online, you realize that it's too late for them to ship in time.
10. You ball up into the fetal position realizing you'll have to go to the mall. During Christmas season.
11. You wonder if maybe you could just count a performance as a present.
12. OK IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T BOUGHT PRESENTS.
13. You've gotten really into saying that "consumerism is ruining Christmas."
14. Most of your time at the mall is spent running in circles and panicking.
15. Also, of course you haven't packed anything for your flight.
16. And after spending an insane amount on plane tickets, you neglected to figure out how you're actually getting TO the airport.
... running? Fast?