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17 Things Millenni-Olds Know To Be True


1. You've been referring to young people as "youths" since you were, like, 10.


Eighth graders, everywhere!

2. You're aware that being told you have an "old soul" is a kind way of saying "you act like my grandpa."

Warner Bros.

*Grumbles masterfully*

3. You wish you were old and wealthy enough to afford a house with a lawn so you could yell at kids to stay off it.


It's like the nice, old-fashioned way of muting someone.

4. You're not getting older; your age is just catching up to you.


5. You bring a sweater everywhere.

Ruined Childhood / Via PBS

6. You've wiped some schmutz off a friend's face.


Here, dear, let me just get that for you...

7. You honestly love Werther's Originals.

Why are they considered an "old" candy in the first place? WHO DOESN'T LOVE CARAMELS?

8. You have asked "is it weird to go to bed at 9" as a "joke."

Paramount Pictures

The joke is that you're already under the covers by 8:32 p.m.

9. "A night out" = 6 o'clock wine date, followed by immediately getting sleepy


Cheese in various forms is often also involved.

10. Also, you're forever being told that you're two months late to every meme.

Or even several years too late.

11. Also also, you're on Facebook.

12. You're really into blankets and quilts and snuggling under various blankets and quilts.


To do: 1. Snooze. 2. Snuggle. 3. Sip a warm mug of miky tea with both hands while wearing a cozy sweater.

13. You can only understand about half of what youths are saying.


Why is everyone talking about the bay? Is that, like. A neat place to go?

14. The idea of going to a club sounds like a punishment.

I guess I'll use this time to catch up on texts from my mom. On this flip phone.

15. You're quite a fan of the phrase "kids these days."

Tsk tsk. Always with the murder.

16. ... And letting people about five years younger than you are know what it was like "in your day."

And the most telling sign of all...

17. You say "I'm old" a whole bunch.


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