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Dec 19, 2014

In Defense Of Fruitcake

You're nutty as a fruitcake.

Guys. Can we talk about fruitcake for a second?

Bee / Rasa Malaysia recipes / Via

I know a lot of people profess to not liking it. But there are some good reasons for giving it a chance. Hear me out:

1. A lot of fruitcake's bad rep stems from people's seeming inability to take a nice picture of it.

Alex Alvarez / BuzzFeed / Via Michele / Creative Commons / Flickr: spotzilla

It's admittedly not the most photogenic of treats. It is, as the French say, "jolie-laide."

...But look what some nice lighting and arrangement can do: / Via

Pretty, right? You can get the recipe for this boozy cake right over here.

2. But more often than not, the anti-fruitcake sentiment is ill-conceived hatred-bandwagoning.


Be real: Have you even TASTED it? DON'T BE A SHEEP.

3. I mean, it can be soaked in booze.

Comedy Central / Via

Always a plus.

4. And the recipe is quite versatile.

brett jordan / Creative Commons
jayne vidheecharoen / Creative Commons / Flickr: jaynev

Like those weird green cherries? Put in a bunch. Hate nuts? Don't include them. Swap the cherries for apricots. Add figs. Include almonds and walnuts but not cashews. Coat the whole thing in powdered sugar, top it off with a glaze. YOU DO YOU.

5. And, yes. Homemade fruitcakes don't taste anything like the boxed version you've been re-gifting for seven generations.

Nickelodeon / Via

Homemade cakes have a nicer balance of sweetness and nuttiness and a more, well. Cake-like texture than those weird, gummy (Yet... alluring? So sue me.) mass-produced cakes.

6. It's fruitcake's world and we're just living in it.

Alex Alvarez / BuzzFeed / Via

Did you know that fruitcake can outlive you? Former Tonight Show host Jay Leno once sampled a fruitcake baked in 1878, which had been kept as a prized family heirloom. Not necessarily a reason to eat it, but certainly reason to be in awe of it.

7. Johnny Depp looks good saying it.

New Line Cinema / Via

What? It's a reason.

So, tell us. Do you like fruitcake?

  1. Do you like fruitcake?

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Do you like fruitcake?
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    TBH, I've never tried it!
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    Yes, but I always pick off those bright green cherry... things.

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