The Krampus is a horned figure that eats children who misbehave around Christmastime, usually in scenic Alpine villages.
Krampus looks like this:
Krampus has his own night, celebrated on December 5th, called "Krampusnacht." Yup, his own night. LIKE A BOSS.
On that night, Krampus roams the street searching for bad children so that he can give them coal. OR drag them to Hell. Depends on his mood. You know how it is!
Sometimes he's joined by St. Nicholas, who just sort of lets this goat-monster to consume children. Like any of us would, TO BE HONEST.
And a Krampuslauf is a procession of revelers dressed up like Krampus. The custom is to offer Krampus a drink, because Krampus loves to party.
No coal for Krampus. Only wine coolers!
Now. How Krampus-eque are you?
You're not fond of kids.You own a suspiciously child-sized backpack.You think Santa Claus is kind of a pushover.You don't moisturize.You're horny.I mean, like. You literally have horns.;)You have long, flowing hair.You think modern society upholds impossible beauty standards.You are beautiful, in your way.You love parades.Particularly if they're honoring YOU.Have we mentioned that you hate kids?Like, a lot.... Unless they're lightly seared.And coated in a buttery Panko crust.Maybe with a nice Riesling? (tee hee!)OMG, you are sooooo bad! ;)You deserve it, though. Let your hair down!You have a long tongue.I mean not, like, in a wink-wink-nudge-nudge way.Although..... Heyooooo!You really enjoy whipping stuff.It's better than Pilates, tbh.You've been known to enjoy a nice Schnapps.You are literally in Hell.You deserve to be celebrated.In fact, you've been known to hand out cards with your face on them.We mentioned that you don't like kids, right?