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21 Things Cuban Grandmas Always Say

This would NEVER have happened in Cuba.

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3. "Ponte talco."

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Are you sweaty? Did you just finish taking a shower? Are you about to put shoes on? Are you going out? Staying in? Bored? Hungry? Dead? Douse yourself in talcum powder.

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6. "Vamos a misa."

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You say: "I'm, uh... not religious, but I'm spiritual"

She hears: "Soy una sinvergüenza."

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9. "Hi flaca / flaco."

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Are you serious.

10. "Hi, gordi."

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THERE IS NO WINNING.

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12. "Better go to sleep or El Cuco will get you. Why aren't you sleeping?"

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Probably because now I'm terrified of being eaten by a monster?

15. "I'm on my way."

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Ok, abuela. Te veo en dos horas.

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17. "Ponte Vapu Ru y ya."

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But my leg is broken.

18. "Me lo dijo Walter."

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Always trust this man with your future.

19. "Why go to McDonald's when we have food here?"

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QUIERO FRENCH FRIEEEEEEES.

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21. "Sana, sana, colita de rana..."

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"...Si no sanas hoy, sanarás mañana." <3

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