1. It's not really spicy unless it makes us sob uncontrollably.
2. We know we've hit our limit when we reach "mouth agape, feeling like a fire-breathing dragon" status.
3. Yes, we are absolutely sure we want the highest spice level you can offer.
4. The hottest Taco Bell sauce is nowhere near spicy enough.
5. Words like "nitro" and "dynamite" are best used to describe snacks.
6. Likewise, the redder the snack, the better.
7. No, come on, jalapeños aren't spicy.
8. The worst pain in the world isn't eating something spicy, it's what happens the next morning.
9. We've learned the hard way to never, ever rub our eyes.
10. We tend to be real specific when it comes to talking about spiciness.
11. And sure, we can get kind of snobby when it comes to sauces and spice level.
12. And, yes, we will judge you for bragging about eating "sooo much" sriracha.
13. If we're gonna eat fruit, it'd better be topped with chili.
14. We know that booze + spice is twice as nice.
15. Yes, we could definitely go for spicy ice cream.
In fact, there's a ghost pepper ice cream at The Ice Cream Store in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. They make you sign a waiver to eat it!
16. Keep the chicken soup. There's nothing more comforting when sick than a bowl of spicy ramen.
17. Regular ol' Tabasco sauce is basically for children.
18. We truly don't understand people who own just ONE type of hot sauce.
19. We're always excited (and secretly terrified) of trying a new hot pepper.
Gimme dat ghost pepper. No wait, don't. NO, LET'S DO THIS.
20. And chances are there's at least one pepper that's a holy grail for us.
21. Having to sign a waiver to eat something is a bonus.
22. Yes, sometimes we forget our own limits.
23. And we tend to get VERY competitive.
24. Because remember, for us, the pain and the anticipation of it ARE the fun.
It's like masochism, but for delicious things.