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23 Truths That All Old Souls Will Relate To

If you're only as old as you feel, then we're 1,082.

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1. Anyone even a single day younger than you is a "youth."


And youths are scary.

2. And there's nothing more frightening to you than a group of teens laughing.


This was true when you were a teen, and it's true now.

3. You find yourself complaining about "REAL music" versus "music these days."

The only "real" music existed when you were a teen and everything else is A GARBAGE FIRE.
Orion Pictures / Via

The only "real" music existed when you were a teen and everything else is A GARBAGE FIRE.

4. Just the thought of music festivals makes you exhausted.

More like Couchella. Haha.

5. You've had weird aches and pains all your life.


Your body is basically a bunch of popsicle sticks held together with gum.

6. You do not relate to people who say things like "back in my party days," because you never had 'em.

Do you mean when you stayed up past 10? Sounds fake, but OK.

7. You've been known to enjoy an early bird special from time to time.


Dinner at 5? Sure. Dinner at every hour sounds great.

8. For you, pre-gaming means attempting to come up with excuses to stay home and go to sleep early, away from youths.


"I am washing my eyelashes that night, sorry."

9. You have never understood the allure of Spring Break.


Vacation is for sleep, fools.

10. You've been known to complain about heartburn and gas. A lot.


You've always had the digestive system of a 182-year-old.

11. Your basic emotions are happy (and tired), sad (and tired), and very tired.


Wow, being exhausted is tiring.

12. You're allergic to clubs. / Via

Why be in a dark room filled with drunk people when you could be at home, drunk off two glasses of wine and asleep by 10:37 p.m.?

13. You have seriously considered purchasing a Life Alert.

Life Alert / Via

What if you fall and break a hip and can't answer the door when the pizza guy comes?!

14. You watch home shopping channels.


"This sure beats shopping in person or from the comfort of the internet!"

15. You never understand what youths are saying. / Via

"What's that bae bae dance all the fleeky thots are doing?"

16. Fashion trends confuse and frighten you.

"Does this crop top bucket skort look nice?"

"Does this crop top bucket skort look nice?"

17. Birthdays mean pretty much nothing to you.


They don't matter when you've basically been 64 your entire life.

18. Everything is WAY TOO LOUD, ALWAYS.


Kids these days with their loud EDMs and such.

19. Awards show season exists to remind you how out of touch you are with pop culture.


"What's a Shawn Mendes?"

20. Your motto is "I'm too old for this shit," regardless of your actual age.

"Come to my party!""I'm too old for this shit.""Um. We're both 13."
Warner Bros.

"Come to my party!"

"I'm too old for this shit."

"Um. We're both 13."

21. You wouldn't dream of leaving home without a sweater.


"It's FREEZING on this beach, yikes."

22. You know that activities like knitting and crocheting are fun, soothing, and creative.


Also, knitting needles act as great weapons against youths.

23. And the best part? You're totally comfortable with who you are.


Because with age (or just feeling old), comes giving fewer shits about things in general, and caring more about the things that really matter.

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