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    16 Embarrassing Things That Happen When You Go Shopping


    1. Being overwhelmed by the smells and sounds of a trendy store and wondering if it's because you're old / uncool / old and uncool.

    DreamWorks Pictures / Via

    It smells like patchouli and sounds like a Miami Beach night club. Why?

    2. Feeling awkward because everyone who works at this store looks like a model.

    Fox / Via

    Why is no one wearing a shirt.

    3. Discovering that, no matter what size you are, yours will be the only one not on the rack.

    R29 TV / Via

    The store won't have those pants in your size. It's like magic, but bad.

    4. Reaching for the same article of clothing as someone else and pretending that you weren't.


    I didn't need a sequined bolero anyway.

    5. Picking something out and then trying to fold it back and realizing you can't master this wizard-level level of folding. / Via

    Remember: retail workers are magical, with folding skills no one else will ever master.

    6. Telling a salesperson you're just browsing and then running into her seven thousand more times.

    Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer / Via

    How many awkward smiles do I have in me?!

    7. Actually needing the salesperson and then not finding her anywhere, being forced to linger awkwardly.


    Why have you forsaken me?

    8. After twenty minutes of standing around looking for help, eventually trying to grab something off a high shelf and sending several things falling to the ground.


    I want to die.

    9. Regretting everything you've ever liked as you wait in line for the dressing room, but being too ashamed to put it all back.

    YG / Via

    Why did I pick up these velveteen hot pants? Am I insane?

    10. Watching other people in line quietly judging your clothing choices.

    Logo / Via

    I'm trying on velveteen hot pants as a joke. You don't know me.

    11. Fighting an unwinnable war against dressing room curtains.

    HBO / Via

    There will always be a gap revealing a sliver of your naked, vulnerable form to anyone who walks past. Always.

    12. Finding a stain on something you're trying on and wondering whether you should tell the dressing room attendant that it wasn't you.

    NBC / Via

    Why is the stain glowing, though.

    13. Discovering that nothing you've tried on fits but not wanting to admit it.

    Columbia Pictures / Via

    I'm just going to put all of these things back on the rack and hope no one notices. I can neither reach nor fold anything in this loud, patchouli-scented nightmare store.

    14. Finally getting to the register and needing a price check.

    ABC / Via

    "JERRY, can you check how much the velveteen hot pants on clearance are? Yeah, yup, going to go ahead and wait for you to do that because this JERKFACE SHOPPER brought me the only pair without a price tag. Yeah, no, we'll just hold up the entire line while you check on that, Jerry. Thanks."

    15. Realizing right after you've purchased something that you already have it at home.

    Paramount Pictures / Via

    This is the seventh striped shirt I've bought this year. What am I doing.

    16. Admitting defeat and officially swearing off all shopping that's not online.

    Warner Bros. Television Distribution / Via

    Scatter my ashes across my keyboard.

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