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26 Secrets All Messy People Have

Bless this mess.

1. We actually do know where everything is.


Those messy piles of things MEAN something.

2. ... So if you try to clean up our various piles of things, we will become hopelessly lost and confused.

The CW

The TV remote is not under this sock where I left it so now I will never find it.

3. Every messy person has that one chair that doubles as a coat rack / book shelf / table / closet.

Admit it. You also have The Chair somewhere in your home.

4. A messy person's closet is a portal into a world of chaos and madness.



5. And the things that exist beneath a messy person's bed will drive you to tears. NEVER LOOK THERE.


You don't even want to know what horrors lie beneath.

6. WE DO TRY TO CLEAN. And sometimes our stuff is perfectly clean and neat! But then we have to get dressed.

R. Kelly Vevo

"Getting dressed" = "Trying on every item of clothing we own"

7. We think you should admire our consistency, at the very least.

8. We fight a constant battle between wanting to take a selfie because we're feeling our look and not wanting the world to see how messy our rooms are.

Life is hard, guys.

9. Everything at The Container Store helps organize clutter until we slowly incorporate it into the mess.

The Container Store will trick us into thinking we can organize our lives 100% of the time.

10. No, we do not know where our phones are right now. Phones are the FIRST thing messes eat.

20th Century Fox


(Chance we were sitting on the phone the whole time: 89.99%.)

11. We were late because our keys were lost. We are late EVERY MORNING because our keys were lost.

Warner Bros. Pictures

And this will never stop.

12. We're pretty convinced that not being able to see your floor means less sweeping and vacuuming.

So, to anyone who lives with us, we say, "YOU ARE WELCOME."

13. Pinterest images like this one are confusing and frightening.

This seems like an awful lot of work for something that'll get messed up again in about an hour.

14. Besides, our cleaning to-do lists WILL become garbage incorporated into our existing garbage.

Cartoon Network

15. A car is like a dorm room on wheels.

I mean. These two sweaters, three pairs of jeans, one shoe, wet towel, three books, and twenty-seven Burger King wrappers need to go somewhere.

16. But, hey, a secret perk of being messy is finding hidden treasure among your stuff.

17. "Creative people are messier," is a nice excuse to pull out, whether or not it's remotely true.

Creatively avoiding cleaning, tbh.

18. Sometimes people mention cleaning things we never even knew HAD to be cleaned, and we become scared.

Fridges need to be cleaned? No, that doesn't seem right. Let's forget it.

19. Our laundry piles can and will migrate around the room as necessary.

20. No, we don't own an iron.

Wrinkles are a sign of a life well-lived, right?

21. Folding clothing takes away from our precious "DOING LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE" time.


So we're just not going to.

22. We don't even want to know how often you're supposed to wash towels and sheets.

Don't tell us. WE'RE NOT LISTENING.

23. We probably have enough food stuck inside the microwave for a whole other meal.

That's called thinking ahead and, again, you're welcome.

24. Anything can turn into a dish, so why wash the used ones?


Think outside the box, people. Mostly because we already used the box to eat Hamburger Helper.


26. But just wait until we have a deadline to meet or something to study for... Our homes will finally be spotless.

Procrastination is the best housekeeper of all.

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