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18 Things To Keep In Mind Before Dating Someone From Miami


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1. We are used to disappointment when it comes to dating.


Seriously, check out anything Miami-dating-related and you'll see the amount of sheer ridiculousness we've had to put up with, from trying to date someone who lives too far away (You're in Miami Gardens? I can't, sorry.) to attempting alone time with someone who still lives at home.

2. We don't all want to spend entire weekend with you at the beach.

Some Miamians (who shall remain nameless) might have lived most of their lives there and only went to Matheson Hammock, like, one time.

3. If fact, a lot that's written or discussed about Miami people as a group does not apply to Miamians as individuals.

If you're worried about dating a total stereotype (perpetuated by the uninformed) who is just obsessed with status, clubbing, designer labels, and drama... don't seek 'em out. Simple. Don't let adherence to stereotypes keep you from meeting many smart, funny, warm, awesome people.

4. This is true, though: You must be well-versed in the art of chisme to maintain a relationship with a Miamian.

Paramount Pictures

Or else just be OK with the reality that we'll gossip with all our friends about you. It's gonna happen.

5. Also please understand that Miami is, in many ways, a small town where everyone know who everyone else is dating.

So be prepared to have people you've never met know all about your dating life.

6. Don't mention LeBron on a date.


Seriously. The wound is still too fresh.





If something related to dating in Miami is an Instagram meme, take it with a grain of salt.

8. Speaking of pizza, you must be able to answer this question: Where will we go on our first Miami pizza date? Sir Pizza? Or Frankie's?

Choose wisely. (Choosing Frankie's means you HAVE to eat it at home, wink nudge.)

9. In fact, we have very high standards for food overall.

If you take us out for Cuban, Venezuelan, or Brazilian food, for instance, it had better be on point.

10. And we're sort of particular about our coffee dates.

Starbucks is nice if you're in the mood for, like. A milkshake.

11. The 4th of July and New Year's Eve are not the best date nights for us.

We might be a little on edge.

12. We're not being loud while flirting with you. Everything in Miami is just... amplified.



13. Yes, Miami is home to the world's most beautiful people.

This stereotype is actually 100% true.

14. Sometimes we don't even mean to "dress sexy" on dates. Coming from such a hot, muggy place, our idea of casual wear tends to be a little different from other people's.

The shorter the shorts, the less likely you are to swim in your own sweat down Bird Road. It's fashion with a purpose.

15. Also, date nights in Miami can be a lot dressier than people expect!

Not every single one of us enjoys dressing up, obviously, but we're a pretty done-up group of people, overall.

16. At some point in your relationship, you will have to pose in front of the Wynwood Walls.

That's just the rule.

17. Miami has its own, unique vocabulary, and chances are you'll be using it, too.

It's just super random. I literally can't even explain it to you, bro. What do you think of life?!

18. If the person you're dating left Miami, you'll have to go back with them at some point because you never really LEAVE Miami.

It'll pull you back into its humid, sun-kissed embrace.

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