"Why Would I Take His Dad's Name": 22 Women Shared Why They Chose To Keep Or Change Their Birth Name After Marriage

    "Men came and went in my life, but I always had me."

    Recently, we discussed how a growing number of women have been keeping their birth names instead of taking their husband's last name after marriage. This got the BuzzFeed Community talking, and hundreds of comments rolled in from both sides of the argument — those who had reasons for keeping their name and those who backed up their decision to change it. So, without further ado, here are very valid explanations from these 22 women's personal experiences, starting with those who did not change their names:

    1. "Been married and divorced and I realized I never want to change my maiden name. Men came and went in my life, but I always had me. It's just important I keep it; it's a part of who I am. Even if I get married again, it's not even something I would consider. There is no reason someone should be offended by it."

    Men came and went in my life, but I always had me. It's just important I keep it; it's a part of who I am.

    2. "I didn’t change my name because I didn’t want to, and I hate that it’s socially expected that I should but he doesn’t. Been married for years, and people (including my own damn family) STILL ask me questions about it, and still can’t figure out how to address us both on X-mas cards and such."

    catsarefriendshaped

    3. "In my culture, we usually use our tribe name, and we don't change our tribe at marriage, so no. In the region I currently live in, though, they tend to call women Mrs. (husband's first name), which, to me, is kind of ridiculous."

    "In the region I currently live in, though, they tend to call women Mrs. (husband's first name), which, to me, is kind of ridiculous."

    4. "My boyfriend asked me if I'd change my last name, and I said no. He said, 'But it's your dad's name. Why wouldn't you change it?' I asked him why would I take his name as it's his dad's name."

    "I asked him why would I take his name as it's his dad's name."

    5. "I’m sorry, but 'Mrs. T' is my mother-in-law, not me!"

    tastymalaise

    6. "My spouse is a NICU manager. [She has] certifications and two degrees in her name. It would have been a nightmare to change it, so we left it as it is. Fine with me."

    "It would have been a nightmare to change it, so we left it as it is."

    7. "I did change my last name when I got married and wish I hadn't. I'm divorced now, and changing it back was a hassle. If I get married again, I'll be keeping my name. I love my last name."

    "If I get married again, I'll be keeping my name. I love my last name."

    8. "I didn't change my last name because I don't like my husband's last name."

    "I didn't change my last name because I don't like my husband's last name."

    9. "If I get married, I'm keeping my last name. Why should I have to change my identity when a guy isn't expected to do the same? Also, I don't agree with the roots of the tradition of a women taking her husband's name. A woman taking her husband's name in the past meant that she was his property. Not very romantic."

    "Also, I don't agree with the roots of the tradition of a women taking her husband's name."

    10. "'Cause my name is better...it's beautiful. Do you know what it means? Pale colored bison horn. Ever see one of those? Do you know who has them? White bison! My ancestor was powerful enough to be named after one of the most sacred symbols in indigenous culture, and what would I change it to? Johnson? No."

    "My ancestor was powerful enough to be named after one of the most sacred symbols in indigenous culture, and what would I change it to? Johnson? No."

    11. "I am one of three girls. None of my sisters kept their last names when they married. I insisted on keeping mine because it would die out forever. It meant a lot for me that my husband understood that at least one of our children should keep my last name as well."

    zekey123

    And here's why these 11 women did choose to change their names:

    12. "I took my husband's last name because I hated the people associated with my maiden name. Now, there’s a POS senator in my state with my maiden name, and I’m so happy I don’t have to answer, 'So are you related to James So and So?' He’s trash."

    lady damon

    13. "I took my husband's last name because I believe in permanence. I want our kids to feel like a family unit without confusion, and I preferred his last name. Changing my last name doesn't remove any of my prior accomplishments, make me his property, or dilute who I am as a person. To each their own, though. Whatever works for you and your partner."

    "Changing my last name doesn't remove any of my prior accomplishments, make me his property, or dilute who I am as a person."

    14. "I’m taking my husband's last name because mine is associated with a lot of very bad people. Plus, his is cuter with my first name. It’s an individual choice."

    laylad44

    15. "Only reason I took my husband's was because I hated my original. As far as paperwork, I went onto a site that found all the paperwork I needed for me and then mailed it to me to fill out."

    "Only reason I took my husband's was because I hated my original."

    16. "I didn't 'lose my identity' because I chose to take my husband's last name. I wish people would stop saying that. It was a choice. I'm still me. (Except with a cooler name.)"

    renloveslemmy

    17. "I took my husband's but mostly just 'cause. No real reason. Fun to change, I guess, even though I liked my maiden name, too. I just didn't care one way or another. Nor did my husband. But I think if he DID make a big deal about it, I'd have pushed back and said, 'No!'"

    "I took my husband's but mostly just 'cause. No real reason. Fun to change, I guess, even though I liked my maiden name, too."

    18. "I took my husband’s name because mine was hard for other people to pronounce."

    Pahz

    19. "My mother kept her last name because she got her PhD with it, and my dad really didn’t care about her taking his name when they got married."

    "She said the only time she ever regretted it was whenever she was traveling alone with my brother and me when we were small children. Because we have different last names, she had to bring our birth certificates to prove she was our mother. She said it was such a hassle to get all the paperwork on the off chance that someone would check it."

    CescaMac

    20. "'Because I wanted to.' That's it. That's the reason."

    "'Because I wanted to.' That's it. That's the reason."

    21. "I took my first spouse's name and didn't retake my maiden name in the divorce. When I remarried, I took my new spouse's name as an opportunity to fully ditch the shackles of the first marriage."

    karencnorris74

    22. "I honestly never really thought about it, just did it."

    sun88shyn

    Now, I want to hear from you. If you've ever been married, did you choose to keep or change your surname, and why? Let me know in the comments.