Every now and then, you find a Twitter thread that keeps you scrolling through the replies for hours, and today I came across an absolute gem. One user asked the internet, "What's the most awkward date y'all ever been on?" And I can't stop laughing at the responses. Here are some of the most liked stories:
1.
@NateIsBack2 I walked in and the guy said, “I must have been drunk.” He also kept asking if HE physically gave me his number or one of his friends. And through the rest of the date he just kept shaking his head saying, “I had to have been drunk.”
2.
We went out to eat and she ate her steak like a taco. she folded it with her hands and ate it. No knife, no fork just vibes. https://t.co/BjFxXIdI0G
3.
@NateIsBack2 His family owned/ran a funeral home. Did not have an issue with that, but he spent the later part of dinner telling me what kind of makeup techniques he would use on me if I died.
4.
@NateIsBack2 I went out with this guy once and his transmission went out so he drive me home in reverse 🤷🏻♀️
5.
His tag was hanging out his top so I pulled it off. The look on his face told the story of a man of who had intended on returning that £350 T-shirt and no longer could. He didn’t smile for the rest of the date and I never heard from him again. https://t.co/oIOxay7m5S
6.
@NateIsBack2 He was older. Good looking but old enough to be my dad lol. We were sitting on the restaurant’s patio on these sofas having drinks. He wanted to take shots. I could tell he was lit so I was like nah. We took 2. I went to the restroom & came back this man was sleep on the sofa. 😭
7.
@NateIsBack2 Went to get wings with a man that was taking all of the chicken off the bone with his hand, balling it up, and then shoving it in his mouth. Man ordered like 30 wings... with the bone...............
8.
The menu said the burger was served “Medium” he goes “nah I want it Large”. I explained that’s not what it meant but he proceeded to request a large from the waiter anyway 😣 https://t.co/MRCh1sG5BK
9.
@NateIsBack2 I was 19. The moment I saw him I almost did a Grandpa Simpson because he'd told me he was 28 but like....he obviously was not. He saw me before I could leave. After 15 awkward minutes he said he was actually 45.
10.
@NateIsBack2 My first two serious bfs were brothers (not ar same time!.) When I went over for dinner at the second one’s house their mum introduced me to the younger one as if we had never met, just for lolz
11.
Dude put a lemon in his mouth at the beginning of the date when our waters came and did not take it out until food arrived. There was no conversation just https://t.co/ECjE8oPePr
12.
@NateIsBack2 Went to this really nice bar in Bowel Heights with this person from HS... danced salsa and had a couple of beers. Went back to the car, dude starts snorting coke and tells me "your son was supposed to be my son. I'm claiming him as mine now" (weird as F**K) also said "I LOVE YOU"
13.
@NateIsBack2 He was late, rude, and then asked where my sister at, since I wasn't having a good time. He told the waitress to split the bill, he had drinks and a appetizer. I had water. I stormed out front of his bar friends (he was a regular there). He had a newborn that same night.
14.
@NateIsBack2 Dated a girl who owned a python. One time she asked me to take her to the pet store where she bought a couple white mice, smashed them against the ground, then fed the dying mice to the snake. Cause it was too lazy to eat them if they were uninjured. That was about it for us.
15.
@NateIsBack2 When I tried to kiss her at the end and she said "No!" because "Nothing would come of this..." I reminded her of this a few years later when our daughter was being born. 😐
16.
@NateIsBack2 We "bumped" into her pastor on our date and the man said to me "I sense in the spirit that there are demons tormenting you and they will never allow you to have a partner". The girl went to the toilet and never came back. She's married to the pastor now, I'm so happy for them.
17.
A man took me to a bar, but instead of buying me a drink, he told me he had a bottle of Crown Royal in the car. He basically wanted us to go back and fourth from the car for drinks, and inside for the music. https://t.co/dpm52MYArT
18.
@NateIsBack2 Shortest date ever. He picks me up, I get in the car & he compliments me on my hair. Then he asks if it’s real 😑 when I decline to answer, he turns on the interior light & starts inspecting. “Wait, turn your head let me see” SIR!! You know what..this ain’t gone work. Good night
19.
@NateIsBack2 We were sitting in a park and her husband threw his sandal at us.
20.
@NateIsBack2 I went on a date with a dude who was a lot shorter then me. I’m 5’11 and he was 5’5. He asked me to step off the sidewalk and walk in the street so I wouldn’t make him look so short. He was dead serious. I actually liked him but never spoke to him again after that day.
21.
I could write a book, but I think the fella who told me my dimples are a birth defect deserves a special shout-out. https://t.co/RoUndF6A2n
22.
@NateIsBack2 When i was a teenager, this boy cooked me dinner at his house. It was lovely. Then his dad came home and told me about the terrible date he had. He described the woman and a few key details. I sat up straighter and asked the name of his date. It was my mom.
23.
@NateIsBack2 On a first date I went on a sunset hike with this guy. On our way back down the mountain we get lost, phones on 1%, guy calls his mom who tells us to call 911. 911 sends a rescue team to walk us down. Next day we end up in the local paper
24.
@NateIsBack2 Her parole officer stopped by our table to say "hi" and remind her if she violated curfew again he'd send her back to prison
25.
@NateIsBack2 Dudes mom came up to question me before he came out (first time meeting him). He took me to a bingo hall, then made me stop at the store so he could buy a STACK of scratch tickets.. we scratched them & he went through each individual ticket and pointed out all my mistakes.
26.
@NateIsBack2 Dinner date, while waiting for our food to come out his gf shows up yelling at him. I left them to beef it out but was still hungry so I went to the server to ask for my meal togo. Server saw what happened & let me take both meals home. went home to watch a movie and ate good 😁
27.
@NateIsBack2 Dinner. She mirrored my every movement. If I took a bite, so did she. If I used my napkin, she followed suit. I eventually noticed, so I tested her by randomly sliding my drink from one end of the table to the other. Without skipping a beat...her drink slid across the table too.
28.
@NateIsBack2 Longtime friend and I on a first date: We went on a day trip to Catalina Island and for some reason, decided to tandem parasail. While we were strapped together hovering in the air above a boat... he got sick. We had purchased the photo package.
29.
@NateIsBack2 The one where I was fidgety during a movie bc I was so nervous and I stuck my arm down the cup holder and couldn’t get it back out. My date had to get the theater manager and they put butter from the popcorn on my arm to grease it up so it would slide out. Mortifying.
30.
@NateIsBack2 After the date we went back to his place to chill and he had an eviction notice on his door.
31.
@NateIsBack2 She said she'd take me for a cheap bite, her treat. We went to a supermarket and she just opened chip bags, ate from them and left without paying.
32.
@NateIsBack2 Got pulled over 10 mins in and he had a suspended license and no insurance. They towed the car and his mom had to pick us up. He offered to drop his mom off so we could go but I declined and had mom drop me off at my car.
33.
@NateIsBack2 Drinks & dancing were great, but when we got back to his apt he pulled out a suitcase full of magic tricks. Already slightly unsettled, he showed me a few & the last trick he made his thumb disappear. Asked him how he did it. He was just missing his thumb.
34.
@NateIsBack2 Started talking to a girl online. Vibing pretty good. She invites me over. Things are going well. She takes me into her bedroom, where I discover she's LITERALLY A NAZI. Like, room is COVERED in Nazi regalia. She claimed to "just like the style, not the philosophy," but come on.
35.
@NateIsBack2 He spent almost 30 minutes complaining about women, and why they shouldn't be in the workforce because they 'take too many bathroom breaks'. He told me he sat outside his office's bathroom and TIMED women entering and exiting. I stood up and left when he got to that part.
36.
@NateIsBack2 A guy brought his 3 y/o daughter on our first date. She practically sat in my lap the whole meal. When I got up to leave, he tried to talk me into going back to his house. I declined & he then got his kid to try to convince me. She said “🥺 I don’t have a mommy.” 😳#Ghosted #Nope
37.
Going to Nobu and having our waiter ask the girl I’m with “are you the chick from Onlyfans” https://t.co/TAgwuizrwE
38.
@NateIsBack2 We were at her place, shes cooking (she was cooking a Nigerian dish) and I was leaning against the wall. I looked over my shoulder and saw a roach trying to high five me. I got up and she said and I quote, "stop acting like a little girl, it's just a bug."
39.
@NateIsBack2 It’s quite a long story but short version is he said his childcare canceled last minute so brought his son and said had to go back to his place for a sec and would I ride along. Get there, then he disappears to go “buy diapers” and I was stuck with his toddler for 2 hours.
40.
@NateIsBack2 A dude who showed up late, talked incessantly about topics I could’ve contributed a LOT to had he ever let me speak. About 45 minutes in he said “so what do you like to talking about, hair?” & I said “not usually with a bald man, no”. I ended it pretty abruptly after that.
41.
@NateIsBack2 Went out with a taxidermist-I asked him what he liked about his work-he took his hands and used his fingers to force my mouth open and into a smile while saying “I could make you smile and you would stay that way forever” ...
42.
@NateIsBack2 He said we were going to an event his friend was DJ-ing at and it was a funeral 😭 I showed up in a party dress
43.
@NateIsBack2 Cowboy type older than me took me to an IHOP. He told me he loved me. I ran to the bathroom to have a think. Someone had etched this sentence in the stall door: he don’t love you or he wouldn’t take you to no IHOP.
44.
he pulled over and turned down the music and made me listen to him rap for a real long time. just on the side of the road rapping. https://t.co/Zh7nmNQAN5
45.
We went to the mall and he walked into Hollister to check his work schedule and found out they fired him 💀 https://t.co/QaJRmFsn44
46.
we were going to dinner. he asked me if i wanted to smoke first. of course i said yes, and then he pulled out a crack pipe. https://t.co/V9nX5uXnsj
47.
I waited at the restaurant and she didn’t show up so I called her and she told me she was sleeping and then asked to go back to sleep and cancel the date. She didn’t understand why I was upset lol https://t.co/iZxfeOLSsH
48.
He told me 15 minutes into the date that 9/11 had been the “best day of his life.” He was extremely not kidding and was visibly cheered just by talking about it. I didn’t have a second drink. https://t.co/WYEOrGtDqw
49.
he invited me over to watch a movie but didn’t mention he had a severe bed bug infestation and got mad at me when i brought it up https://t.co/0Nx1ck7Drz
50.
I went to put my arm around a girl while we were watching a movie and elbowed her in the nose. There was blood everywhere. https://t.co/2dfGIuOfzR