Welcome back, y'all! Last time we chatted, we debated over whether this wife should feel like an a-hole for switching over to tampons despite them making her husband "uncomfortable." Now, I need your opinion on a mom who shaved her baby girl's unibrow.
For context, the mom, who shared this concern on Reddit under the username u/RealisticEnd465, said that her baby girl is gorgeous, but gets a few too many unwanted stares: "I have a baby girl who has a very thick unibrow," she said. "Of course, I think she is beautiful, including her bushy little brow, but I am SO tired of the comments from other people."
"Literally on a daily basis, people tell me I should dress her up as Frida Kahlo for Halloween, jokingly ask if she has a caterpillar on her face, tell me dad must be really hairy, etc."
"Nobody seems to notice anything about her except that unibrow. So, I shaved a little separation into her brow. I used a tiny little facial razor that is very gentle on skin and made sure to take care of her skin afterwards. It didn’t cause any sort of irritation or issues, and I’ve continued to do it every week or so."
"My husband finally noticed — I did it initially about a month ago — and demanded to know how I could possibly do something like that to our child. He’s angry with me because: 1) I didn’t run it by him first; 2) I’m going to 'give her body image issues'; and 3) there’s nothing wrong with a unibrow.
"I told him that when she’s old enough to voice her opinions, she can tell me what she wants, but until then, I’m going to keep shaving it so that people notice more than just her unibrow.
"Am I the asshole?"
Though the majority agree the mom was not wrong to shave her daughter's unibrow, their reasoning, as well as debate, was more split than you may originally think. Top commenters believe that because her daughter's unibrow is bound to grow back and it's a "small" change, the mom should not have to consult her husband for any little decision:
"It's a non-permanent thing; her unibrow grows back, and it has nothing to do with raising her, her health, or any other important parental matter that needs to be discussed by the two. It's honestly not very different from buying an outfit for her. Would the mom be required to inform her husband every time she bought PJs for their baby? Or, perhaps a better analogy: trimming her nails. Should the mom be required to tell hubby every time she trims baby's nails?
"Instead of something that has to be consulted, I see it more as just an interesting conversation point, like, 'Hey honey, how was your day?'
"'Oh, you know, the usual. We went on a nice walk; I shaved a tiny patch of her unibrow; she still doesn't like banana baby food.'"
Others agreed, saying that the mom cutting her baby's unibrow was similar to other regular haircuts and trims done at home:
"Why should she have to consult her husband for cutting her baby’s hair? She cuts her actual hair and makes plenty of other daily decisions I’m sure dad isn’t involved in at all. This seems like an odd hill for the husband to die on. If dad wants to be consulted more, then maybe he should pay more attention to his kid."
This point of "paying more attention to his kid" appeared to be a common theme, as many found it odd that it took the dad a month to notice a change on his child's face — only to become passionate about something he didn't even pick up on:
"Husband didn’t notice for a month? That shows he didn’t even care all that much. As a husband, I agree that he probably should have been involved in the decision, but he should be more than willing to understand your reasons, especially after not noticing for a literal month. That’s a long time to miss a defining feature of your daughter’s face changing."
On the other side of the debate, people agreed that changes in their daughter's appearance should be considered by both parents first, even if it's a positive change:
"NAH. I can see why your husband is upset. You really should have consulted him first before doing something to your daughter.
"However, why wait until she comes home crying because kids are making fun of her when it’s something easy to take care of now? I just imagine leaving it alone and having her hate her childhood pictures. Pictures that she can’t change but can burn instead of having the memories."
Others related to how a child might feel after having their mother prick and prod at their natural body, saying it's not ok to make her daughter feel as though something is wrong with her:
"I still remember being a little kid and my mom pinning me down to pluck my eyebrows. When I asked her what was wrong, she gave me a look and said, 'Ideally, there should be two.'
"Knowing my own mother thought I was ugly...I still haven't recovered. I'm a grown adult, and I have moments when I cry looking at my reflection."