Skip To Content

    This Guy Is Going Mega-Viral After Answering The Age-Old Question, "How Do Adults Make Friends?"

    How do you, like...make friends?

    If you're clueless when it comes to making friends outside of work and school, then trust me, you're not alone. Every year, people who have recently graduated, moved, left a job, etc., begin wondering how in the world they're supposed to start over, find new friends, and develop relationships.

    Several people taking a picture together
    Professional Studio / Getty Images

    The whole process is so daunting that over 5 million people simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief when they came across TikTok user Connor Miller's viral video where he offers the perfect solution to our awkward problem:

    "Show up somewhere regularly," Connor shared. "The reason you make friends in high school is because you see the same people every day. The reason that you make friends at work is because you see the same people every day. If you want to make friends as an adult, go to the same café every week, or go to a calligraphy class."

    "If you don't want to leave the house, you can just go to the same Twitch stream every day," Connor continued. "That's what I do and I've made friends there. If you are a familiar face in a place where people share your interests, you'll make friends."

    Connor, who works as a community coordinator at Discord — an app that allows users to create groups centered around an interest that other like-minded people can connect with and share within — may be on to something...and the simplicity of his hack for friend-making blew people's minds.

    Someone commented, "U cracked the code, it was never about the place but about time and consistency [wide-eye emoji]
    TikTok: @connorthemiller / Via
    show up somewhere regularly with several hands writing with a pen emojis for emphasis
    TikTok: @connorthemiller / Via

    It's no surprise that many are drawn to his advice. According to Vox, about 30% of millennials have reported feelings of loneliness and about one in five within the generation said they have no friends at all. Couple this with a worldwide pandemic that pushed people indoors, and the desire for companionship only grows.

    An animation of a person along while people go about their days around them
    Gremlin / Getty Images

    When speaking to BuzzFeed about about his tip, Connor shared: "Whenever I move to a city, I immediately try to identify places to be a regular — restaurants, cafés, code meetups, juggling groups, vendor fairs, whatever. I just make it a point to show up every time. This is how I've made many of my friends, and also how I've gotten many of my jobs, as well. After a while, people just start to assume they should know you because of how often they've seen your face."

    For those who aren't ready to take an "in person" leap, the 28-year-old believes "socializing is socializing, and the connections you make online can be more meaningful than the friendships you have with people who live next door to you."

    Personally, Connor plays games with friends on Twitch, a video streaming service, and talks about books, philosophy, and crossword puzzles with others on Discord. "Community means a tremendous amount to me," he shared. "I invest a lot of time into getting to know people because I think it's very important, especially now when so many people in the world feel alone and disconnected."

    If you don't have a hobby or an idea of where to start, Connor suggests making a list of interests. "Many people don't know what to do because there are so many things to choose from. Kind of like when you can't decide what to watch on Netflix; it's easy to get choice paralysis when choosing a hobby. The key is to make a big list, make a smaller list, then try those things out to see what sticks."


    Now, viewers only have one more question for him:

    now how do i find true love
    TikTok: @connorthemiller / Via

    But he'll save that for another time.

    If you want to keep up with Connor, you can follow him on Instagram and TikTok.