Skip To Content

    23 Things That All Bath People Know To Be Completely True

    Showers are for peasants.

    1. You sit until your fingers and toes resemble half-chewed prunes.

    2. You have accessories like a bath tray and pillow, and if you forget something before getting in you will risk soaking the bathroom floor to get it.

    3. You know exactly how to manipulate the tap to create the perfect water temperature and when to get in.

    4. You do your best reading in the tub, and you're not above spending as long as it takes to race to the finish of a page-turner.

    5. Candles are a must, and you have different scents for different times.

    6. You have tried to precariously balance your computer on every surface in the bathroom in order to catch up on the latest shows.

    7. Sometimes you like to just lay under the water and think about life.

    8. Bubbles vs. salts are a big deal and you know what your preferences are and when each is necessary.

    9. Nothing grinds your gears more than a tepid bath.

    10. You could probably put contortionist on your resumé due to the practice you've gotten trying to fully submerge all of your limbs into the water.

    11. When someone walks into the bathroom while you’re soaking in bubbles, you secretly relish how fabulous and luxurious your life seems in that brief moment.

    12. You have a special bath playlist that really gets you in that relaxing mood.

    13. You've been known to take photos of yourself in the tub even though you're basically naked.

    14. You know that a full bottle of wine in the tub doesn't count the way a full bottle of wine anywhere else does.

    15. You have spent many a time making bubble beards and bras no matter your gender.

    16. You WILL hold strong to your bath plans even if a friend offers you another set of particularly fun plans.

    17. You know how lucky you are if your tub has a side faucet.

    18. You know that sharing the bath with someone really takes away from the bathing experience, especially if someone has to angle their head around the faucet.

    19. If too long of a period of time goes by and you haven’t taken a bath, you don’t even know who you are anymore.

    20. You have very strong opinions about whether or not you should wash your hair or shave in the bath and you feel passionate about it either way.

    21. Because eating time is all the time, you have had a snack (or meal, probs) while in the tub.

    22. Trying to will yourself out of the tub is the saddest part of your day.

    23. You know that taking a bath will solve any problem you could possibly be faced with.