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The Definitive Ranking Of Thanksgiving Food

ALL HAIL TURKEY DAY! #omnomnom.

LOOK AT THE THANKSGIVING DINNER IN ALL OF ITS BEAUTIFUL GLORY! LOOK! AT! IT!

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Now let us judge it.

16. Gelatin Fruit Mold

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The most unpredictable dessert of all time - the reason why you should have trust issues. Just no.

15. Dinner Rolls

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Everybody loves a good dinner roll with some butter to mop up that last bit of mashed potato flecked gravy, but don't waste valuable tummy room on it.

14. Pumpkin Pie

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Honestly, by the time you indulge in all of Thanksgiving's savory goodness, do you need this mediocre pie in your life?

13. Green Beans

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Everybody loves a nice crunchy green bean that squirts its juice out across the table, but it's commonplace enough that it is surely not what makes a Thanksgiving feast what it is. Next.

12. Cranberry Sauce - Homemade

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If anyone in your family bothers to make cranberry sauce from scratch, you know it's delicious, because cranberry. BUT - the can is always better in this case, no?

11. Butternut Squash Soup

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A beautifully orange, thick and hearty soup to start off the meal. But just have a small bowl, there's a shit ton of food coming out!

10. Brussels Sprouts

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Grilled, baked, or fried, these little treats are a nice green companion to the notoriously brown Thanksgiving meal. Add bacon to win the game.

9. Roasted Corn

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Drenched in butter for maximum artery clogging capacity, please.

8. Glazed Carrots

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Anything and everything should be glazed. Just all of it.

7. Mashed Potatoes

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A classic addition to any meal, let alone Thanksgiving. Its value is measured in how well you can create a gravy moat around the rest of your food with it.

6. Cornbread

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Cornbread is among the food greats. It doubles as a savory, gravy dunking bread, as well as a dessert treat that can be toasted with some jam and butter. It does it all!

5. Turkey

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The star of Thanksgiving. Without it, there would be no Turkey Day, no tryptophan coma, no need for gravy. (That last part is a lie, gravy goes on literally every single thing).

4. Cranberry Sauce - From The Can

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Not much else is more beautiful than can lines in your jellied cranberry sauce. Mmm, all of the texture.

3. Sweet Potatoes

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A food that can be prepped in so many delicious ways deserves all of the praise. Maple syrup infused and double baked, anyone?

2. Gravy

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If everything on your plate isn't drowning in a brown pool of gravy, you're doing it wrong.

1. Stuffing

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The KING of Thanksgiving foods. Bready and delicious, great homemade stuffing is a Thanksgiving game-changer. (Though, who doesn't love the boxed version? It's a classic).