A 13-Step Guide To Killing A Bug On Your Own

Because sometimes you’re alone and screaming “MOOOOOOM” just won’t work. The pressure is on.

So there’s a bug in your room and no one is around. It’s all you, baby.

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There’s no one to run to and nowhere to hide, unless of course you want that bug to escape into the deepest crevices of your house. So what do you do?

1. First, freak the eff out. It’s okay, you’re human.

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Just don’t take your eyes off of that little sucker.

2. Then look frantically for a shoe or something hard to hit it with.

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Don’t go for the tissues first, smashing it with something that thin will result in texture issues.

3. Next, stare your nemesis in the eyes.

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And proceed to gag at what’s to come.

4. Shake it out, lift the shoe, and get in touch with your deepest rage.

It’s in there somewhere.

5. Okay, deep breath. This is it.

6. Begin hesitant first attempt.

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7. Regain confidence and try again.

Come on, really try.

8. Find your inner beast, and GO.



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Feel that rush of relief.

10. Now to get it off the surface you smashed it on.

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Go ahead, you can do it.

11. You’ll be fine, you’ve made it this far.

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Come onnnnnnnnnn, just do it!

12. Success! Now RUN IT TO THE BATHROOM!

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13. Finally, wish that nasty little thing a great trip down the pipes.

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Uhhhh, BUH-BYE.

Congratulations friend, you’ve completed your training.

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Until next time…

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