Recently Gordon Ramsay launched an app called “Gordon Ramsay Dash." As I’m a person prone to procrastination — and since I'm not an idiot sandwich — I didn’t hesitate to download it. Here are my thoughts while playing:
1. How many times have I already apologized to an animated Gordon Ramsay?
2. Damn, this game makes me hungry.
3. What's wrong with this chicken? Eat it! *in a second* "Season the f*cking dish!" – Oh, that makes sense.
4. "Is it good? Yes. Is it your best? No." Story of my life.
5. Gordon Ramsay just said I'm on fire! 🔥🍳
6. Oh no, I'm so sorry!
7. I'M SO SORRY, GORDON.
8. Ohmygod stop apologizing! He is NOT real.
9. Why have I chosen to play a game that lowers my self-esteem?
10. No, wait. He's just said he'd be proud to serve my food in one of his restaurants!
11. I guess I'm a professional chef now.
12. Wait… Does playing "Ramsay Dash" count as procrastination or a self-motivational training course?
13. When he says "Oh, fine," and "Umm, pretty good," I feel like I've failed this city.
14. "What are you doing over there?" Just questioning my whole existence.
15. "That's it! Shut this f*cking sh*thole down!" iiiisn't exactly what I want to hear at 2 a.m.
16. However, the compliments are flattering.
17. ...The animated Gordon Ramsay is nearly as hot as the real one. Especially in his "Fire Gordon" mode. Literally hot.
19. I'm addicted.