17 Tweets You'll Only Find Funny If You're Smart And Have A Good Sense Of Humor

    "Since the universe has no center, you can't be it."

    1. A reality check:

    Since it’s sPoOkY szn can I scare everyone with our existence lol

    2. This totally reasonable assumption:

    my white blood cells when they see a germ trying to invade my body

    3. And this one:

    4. This new finding:

    Age 5: If you give a mouse a cookie Age 25: https://t.co/MxYwvka4ow

    5. A gentle reminder:

    i read an article that said if you saw your clone walking down the street you wouldn’t even realize it because your perception of yourself is completely different than what you actually look like so now i can’t sleep because i’m uhhh wondering what the heck i actually look like

    6. This sequence:

    7. This equation:

    use y= mx+b to calculate the slope of the line you just crossed

    8. A productive fall date idea:

    Cute date ideas for the fall: - get a flu shot - wash your hands frequently to avoid catching and spreading unnecessary sicknesses

    9. And this one:

    BEST FALL DATE IDEAS: 1. Go apple picking 2. Visit a pumpkin patch 3. GO TO THE POLLS ON NOV. 6 AND VOTE THE ASSHOLES OUT 4. Get a flu shot 5. Plan an ugly sweater party

    10. This idea:

    Why hasn’t anyone invented a clear toaster yet would make life so much easier

    11. And this one:

    why don’t they just make a whole coffee table out of whatever coasters are made of

    12. A missed opportunity:

    Was this the best we could come up with https://t.co/hMbsq9Pts0

    13. A relatable feeling:

    You ever spell a word right but that shit look weird asf?

    14. This reaction to a dream destination, tbh:

    I bet the oxygen there CRISP as shit https://t.co/0w3SBZBOLm

    15. This historical "quote":

    any 16th century astronomer: hey- the catholic church:

    16. A fitting opening:

    17. And finally, this scientific fact:

    Since the Universe has no center, you can’t be it.

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