1. Ladylike
What does that even mean? Look, trying to accommodate a combination Shakira/Madonna spirit animal while retaining a status of "boss ass bitch" is a full time job. Therefore, one has no time to conform to the antiquated standards required to be deemed a "lady".
2. Skinny
Whether it's high wasted, low cut, sheer, short, or strapless, your average size ass looks great in it. And if it's you finding a man to appreciate that that society is so concerned about, it should ask every man on the planet what womanly body parts he admires most.
3. Long-Term Relationship Oriented
What a joke this is! Can I get my own life together before I even consider merging it with someone else's for the indefinite future?! I mean, HONESTLY.
4. Career Driven
Whether you recently graduated school, or you just don't have it all figured out yet, it's all right! There is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting a temporary job while you regroup. I can't even commit to doing laundry every week, committing to a company's three year contract is simply too much to ask of me right now.
5. Sexy
Don't get me wrong, every woman likes to be thought of as sexy no matter their age. But like, when we're just chilliin on the couch binge watching entire seasons of Breaking Bad, is it super necessary that I look sexy? Would you rather I stuff my face with Twizzlers in some expensive lingerie? Are these sweatpants not sexy enough? Can I live?
6. Trendy
I like new clothes and shoes and shit just as much as the next girl. But I just can't justify over spending on new, expensive stuff in hopes of boosting my Instagram likes. TBH I'd rather just spend the money on fake followers who life everything. Because there ain't no shame in my Target game, H&M's got them good dealz and Macy's ain't bad either AMIRIGHT?!
7. Serious
I mean let's be real that's never gonna happen so whatevs
Are you mad about it? #Sorrynotsorry
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