1. No fights break out when a stranger intentionally spritzes you directly in the face with Avril Lavigne's newest scent.
2. No questions are asked when you are offered, and promptly accept bite sized pieces of Asian inspired chicken from someone you don't know.
Typically you'd refuse such an offer, but at the mall it just feels so right.
7. Nobody is arrested for lunging at you while holding a curling iron heated to 400 degrees and screaming, "Let me make you pretty!".
Don't you come near me with that.
10. Grown men are standing around chasing you with remote control cars yelling, "Ma'am, let me show you my toy!".
What did you just say to me?
14. And finally, shirtless men in $85 jeans take pictures with young girls in dimly lit store fronts.
I rest my case.
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