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14 Reasons The Mall Is Actually The Weirdest Place Ever

Because the things that go on at the mall make no sense in literally any other setting.

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1. No fights break out when a stranger intentionally spritzes you directly in the face with Avril Lavigne's newest scent.

2. No questions are asked when you are offered, and promptly accept bite sized pieces of Asian inspired chicken from someone you don't know.

Typically you'd refuse such an offer, but at the mall it just feels so right.

3. Not a single person gives free massages in the middle of the mall a second thought.

4. Or you can pay to sit in a sofa that will massage you in the middle of the mall.

5. You can get your teeth whitened in the middle of the mall.

6. You can get your ears pierced in the middle of the mall.

7. Nobody is arrested for lunging at you while holding a curling iron heated to 400 degrees and screaming, "Let me make you pretty!".

Don't you come near me with that.

8. You are constantly badgered to give your hand to an unfamiliar woman so she can buff your nails.

9. You can record your own album in a small booth for like 15 bucks.

10. Grown men are standing around chasing you with remote control cars yelling, "Ma'am, let me show you my toy!".

What did you just say to me?

11. There is often a random merry-go-round.

12. And why are there so many new cars just sitting around?

13. You can enjoy a pretzel while admiring the oddly placed indoor koi pond

14. And finally, shirtless men in $85 jeans take pictures with young girls in dimly lit store fronts.

I rest my case.

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