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This Pub In Southend-On-Sea Has Some Advice For People Who Want To Take Drugs In Its Toilet

More pubs need to use the words "aggy shithole" in their official literature.

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This is the score, please don't attempt to take drugs in this toilet or anywhere else on these premises. We run a nice, chilled, friendly place and we don't want people using the loo to have to listen to some woman snorting a line of coke and then walk out wiping her nose. Same goes for puff, just do it at home before and after your night out here. Please help us out here, if everyone gets on the gear it'll turn in no time at all into the kind of aggy shithole that we've spent the last few years trying to shake off.

Moreover, if we hear you, smell you, or see you with any drugs, you will be asked to leave immediately.

Whether you've drunk here for 20 years, are the main DJ for the night, the lead singer of the headline band or a personal friend of the owner, if we catch you taking drugs anywhere in this building on any night you're barred for life.

Thanks for your co-operation; the dashboard of your car or the back of a fag packet in an alley 2 blocks away are waiting.

And that, kids, is how you get four-and-a-half stars on Tripadvisor.

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