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Posted on Dec 15, 2014

The 21 Stages Of Your Office Christmas Party, As Told By Crap Taxidermy

Or why Adam Cornish's excellent book is 2014's greatest stocking filler.

1. Last night, you and your team hit the town.

2. You felt on top of the world.

3. There were costumes.

4. There was inappropriate contact.

5. Grinding. There was definitely grinding.

6. The next morning, daylight hit you.

7. You sit on the edge of the bed, trying to remember what you did.

8. Then you remember that conversation with your boss.

9. OH GOD. Probably not the best way to demand a pay rise.

10. You make your way into work. You feel crushed.

11. You spend the morning in a foul mood, snapping at anyone who comes near you.

12. You feel sick.

13. Bleeeugh.

14. But after some painkillers, you're just about holding it together.

15. Then you catch the eye of someone in accounts.

16. Hang on. Did we...

17. OH GOD WE DID.

18. You spend the rest of the day hoping they don't remember or care.

19. Then the email comes. They want to go out for coffee and discuss "things".

20. In summary...

21. ...ban Christmas parties. They can only end in misery.

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