1. You could be sure they'd always take care over any presents they bought you.
2. They'd provide astute cultural criticism.
3. Because sometimes this happens.
4. Because they are who they are.
5. Because they're endearingly proper.
6. And they're confident about their sexuality.
7. They understand etiquette.
8. And how to pay compliments.
9. But they can also tell it like it is.
10. That's why they can never really delude themselves.
11. Never.
12. Because this remains one of the greatest things ever to happen at a frat party.
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13. Because they would make huge sacrifices if you were ill.
14. Of course, they're wonderful parents.
15. And above all: they know what true love is.
