How Scared Of Spiders Are You Actually?

People keep burning their houses down because of them and we need to talk about this.

Important reminder. What works for Jeff Daniels in Arachnophobia just isn’t the best policy for the average homeowner.

Buena Vista / Via

Basically, people keep burning down their houses when trying to kill spiders.

The Mirror recently reported: “In June a woman in Kansas was arrested for arson after she allegedly tried to kill one by setting a pile of towels on fire with a cigarette lighter.”

Then, in July, Komo News reported that a man in Seattle had done $40,000 worth of damage to his house by trying to kill a spider with a lighter and some spray paint.

The station quoted Kyle Moore of the Seattle fire department: “There are safer, more effective ways to kill a spider than using fire. Fire is not the method to use to kill a spider.”

Last week, firefighters had to put out a fire in Bridgend, South Wales, after a woman sprayed a spider with an aerosol and set it alight.

This is now officially a trend.

You need to know if your home is at risk. From you. And the only way to do so is with the time-honoured tool of a BuzzFeed quiz.

BE WARNED: It contains GIFs of spiders. If you’re really scared of them, you probably don’t want to scroll down.

Right then: How Scared Of Spiders Are You Actually?

  1. 1. You open the toilet lid and this happens. What's a proportionate response?
    1. Nuke the bathroom from orbit.
    2. Fetch the flamethrower.
    3. This is why you always keep a baseball bat handy.
    1. Just use the toilet. It won’t hurt you. Look! Spiders are kind of cute!
  2. 2. What are your thoughts when you see this?
    1. Mutant Enemy
      The hellmouth has opened.
    2. They want to eat my face.
    3. AMC
      Why has thou forsaken me?
    1. Lionsgate
      Bit mean to disturb their home.
    3. NOPE.
    1. It’s a big spider eating a snake and I’m not sure I’m OK with that.
    2. A marvellous GIF that shows Nature, red in tooth and claw.
  3. 4. What has this guy done wrong?
    1. Failed to put on the right protective clothing.
    2. Ethan Miller / Getty
      Failed to bulldoze his house down.
    3. 20th Century Fox
      Failed to ask his friends for help, which in this case means “a large machine gun”.
    1. BBC
      He should have put the bucket on the spider calmly and quickly like Benedict Cumberbatch or someone would.
  4. 5. What's this?
    1. A vision of purest hell.
    2. Something that will make it impossible for me to sleep for the next week.
    3. All of my nightmares in one short GIF.
    1. Just a parent looking after its babies.
  5. 6. What was the fate of this person?
    1. They are dead. As is the person filming it. They should never have angered it.
    2. They might well be dead. At the very least, they needed emergency hospital treatment.
    3. They’re probably fine. Either that or they’re definitely dead. Probably the latter.
    1. They’re fine. Most spiders aren’t even poisonous.
  6. 7. Right, how much money are we talking for this to be your arm?
    1. Disney
      You’re going to have to give me Scrooge McDuck money.
    2. This would be adequate.
    3. Whatever’s-in-Kanye’s wallet at any one time kind of amounts.
    1. I’d do it for free because that just isn’t that scary.
  7. 8. Here is a GIF.
    2. AAAGH!
    3. AGH!
    1. Cool!


Oops! This post originally got Jeff Daniels and Jeff Bridges muddled up. This is a good opportunity to note both Jeffs are awesome.

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Alan White is a news editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
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