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17 Gloriously Sarcastic Coronavirus Tweets From The British Isles

"What if this is what finally stops the DFS sale?"


Nothing in the history of disappointment compares with our 7-yr old realising she’s the daughter of key workers


Absolutely heartwarming, after a week of social distancing, I went out on my balcony last night, and not a single person in my entire estate was acknowledging the presence of any other human being. No-one even tried to start a singalong. The spirit of London prevails ♥️♥️♥️


was feeling nervous but I just got a covid-19 update from Halfords and I'm a bit more reassured


Ordered Amazon Delivery and selected “replace item” with the closest thing they can find if they run out of stock... We ordered tampons. And they sent the closest appropriate thing. Which right now, is a bag of 50 frozen sausage rolls.


very apparent now that the best thing about meeting up with people in person was not having to look at your own face while you did it


I’ve either finally tipped over the edge or I just heard a fucking ice cream van. No one wants a Mr Whippy, Darren. Read the fucking room.


Nick Ferrari: "they kept the theatres open during the blitz, but not during this" You couldn't CATCH THE BLITZ you roaster


Could criminal sanctions be brought in for people who don't follow instructions on self-quarantining, Boris Johnson is asked. "We are a mature, grown up, liberal democracy," he says. On Sunday, in Costco, Lakeside, someone bought 5 separate 96 packs of toilet paper.


Anyone "evacuating" London rn should know that the proper process is to write a think piece in the Guardian prior to your departure, and then launch a gardening blog. Pretenders, the lot of you.


me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck


I know this time of self isolation is hard and scary for people but however bad you are feeling- please, please don’t consider starting your own podcast Straight men under the age of 35 are particularly vulnerable to this and we all need to be vigilant of the dangers x


Me returning to the family home after months away to begin a coronavirus lockdown


Our 5 year old seems to have deemed himself the local virus warden. Over the fence to our neighbour: ‘JEAN YOU NEED TO GO INSIDE’ ‘Okay I will in a minute’ ‘YOU’RE OLD AND THERE’S A VIRUS’ ‘I’m not that old thank you’ ‘HOW OLD ARE YOU JEAN?’ ‘I’m 68.’ ‘THAT IS NEARLY 70 JEAN.’


Feel like pure shit, just want austerity back x


My co-worker just got angry at some plastic toast and is now asleep. I think he's shat himself too. :(


just absolutely furious beyond belief at everyone who has a dog


What if this is what finally stops the DFS sale?


An earlier headline on this post claimed that all of the tweeters included here are British. Apologies!