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The Male "Swimming Sock" Is Here And It Must Be Stopped

We created this, everyone. We need to fix it.

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People. Do you remember the horror of the asymmetric man thong last summer?

Bobby Norris and boyfriend Harry Derbidge bare bottoms in seriously bizarre trunks http://t.co/jEDCuGK0U6

Redmiles-Blog@Redmiles_BlogFollow

Bobby Norris and boyfriend Harry Derbidge bare bottoms in seriously bizarre trunks http://t.co/jEDCuGK0U6

3:29 PM - 12 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

"Oh, that's funny," we all thought. "What an amusing novelty."

Well, look what Bobby Norris is wearing in Tenerife, right now. Or don't. In fact, do not click on this image. Just don't.

Beretta/Sims/REX

Behold. A knob sock.

Or maybe a swimming sock. Or a wang sheath. Who knows (see below)?

Because if this goes on, it will become a thing, and there will be men wearing them on YOUR HOLIDAYS.

Beretta / Sims / Rex

Got to go now and write to the prime minister to ask for emergency legislation to be passed.

  1. What do you even call this thing?

    A knob sock.
    A swimming sheath.
    A wang glove.
    A dick socket.
    A schlong pouch.
    A penis funnel.
    A cock cover.
    A shaft holster.
    A glans sling.
    Something else (leave your suggestion in the comments).

The Male "Swimming Sock" Is Here And It Must Be Stopped

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What do you even call this thing?
  1.  
    vote votes
    A knob sock.
  2.  
    vote votes
    A swimming sheath.
  3.  
    vote votes
    A wang glove.
  4.  
    vote votes
    A dick socket.
  5.  
    vote votes
    A schlong pouch.
  6.  
    vote votes
    A penis funnel.
  7.  
    vote votes
    A cock cover.
  8.  
    vote votes
    A shaft holster.
  9.  
    vote votes
    A glans sling.
  10.  
    vote votes
    Something else (leave your suggestion in the comments).

Alan White is a news editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.

Contact Alan White at alan.white@buzzfeed.com.

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