This one?Or this one?
It's "porn seepage" that's the problem.
The power-crazed RSPB?Or vicious squirrels?
It's the power-crazed RSPB.
Flatulence row leads to president's pot dealer's death?Former sweetheart is a lapdancing terrorist?
It's the flatulence row.
A 6ft, £48k-a-year, beer drinking meat eater with an Audi?A 6ft 2in, £55k-a-year, red wine-drinking rugby player with a Porsche?
It's the Audi driver, apparently.
Pregnant in the mouth :(((
Held up the queue for the bus?Not enjoyed her drink?
She made a face.
A 4-inch high prancing horse?Her cats?
It's a prancing horse.
Big headed babies?Or single mothers?
If your baby has a big head, you should worry.
Button it.Get flirting.
Shut it, woman.
Get rid of the fat guy?Stash this baby?
That baby's going with the hand luggage.
Can You Spot The Real Daily Mail Headline?
You have no feel for Middle England at all. Back to the boring stuff about intelligence agencies for you.
You're not a full Dacre, but you know what Middle England wants.
No one's more tapped into Middle England's mindset than you. Well done!