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Can You Spot The Real Daily Mail Headline?

Have you got the news instincts of a top Mail executive?

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  1. 1. Let's start easy. Which youth activity is making Jan Moir concerned?

    This one?
    Or this one?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's "porn seepage" that's the problem.

  2. 2. What's getting Liz Jones exercised?

    The power-crazed RSPB?
    Or vicious squirrels?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's the power-crazed RSPB.

  3. 3. What's the EXCLUSIVE?

    Flatulence row leads to president's pot dealer's death?
    Former sweetheart is a lapdancing terrorist?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's the flatulence row.

  4. 4. Bit tougher now. What's a woman's idea of a perfect man?

    A 6ft, £48k-a-year, beer drinking meat eater with an Audi?
    A 6ft 2in, £55k-a-year, red wine-drinking rugby player with a Porsche?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's the Audi driver, apparently.

  5. 5. What happened to this poor woman?

    This?
    Or this?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Pregnant in the mouth :(((

  6. 6. What unremarkable thing has Rosanna Arquette done?

    Held up the queue for the bus?
    Not enjoyed her drink?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    She made a face.

  7. 7. Liz Jones has a tattoo. But what is it?

    A 4-inch high prancing horse?
    Her cats?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's a prancing horse.

  8. 8. Who's more prone to cancer?

    Big headed babies?
    Or single mothers?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    If your baby has a big head, you should worry.

  9. 9. Women! How do you succeed at work?

    Button it.
    Get flirting.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Shut it, woman.

  10. 10. Liz Jones isn't enjoying her flight. What's she going to do?

    Get rid of the fat guy?
    Stash this baby?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    That baby's going with the hand luggage.

Can You Spot The Real Daily Mail Headline?

You're basically Alan Rusbridger!

You have no feel for Middle England at all. Back to the boring stuff about intelligence agencies for you.

You're basically Alan Rusbridger!
Oli Scarff / Getty
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You're Quentin Letts!

You're not a full Dacre, but you know what Middle England wants.

You're Quentin Letts!
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You're Paul Dacre!

No one's more tapped into Middle England's mindset than you. Well done!

You're Paul Dacre!
Dan Kitwood / Getty
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