This Mother Was Shocked When Her Facebook Post About "Parent Sex" Went Viral
"You know what parent sex is, it's that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies and making food."
This post by 32-year-old artist, writer, and mother of four Constance Hall, from Fremantle in Western Australia, has been shared tens of thousands of times since she posted it to Facebook.
We had "parent sex" yesterday.
You know what parent sex is, it's that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies and making food,
where you notice that all of your kids are pretty distracted,
Where you realise it's been almost a month since you banged and are starting to feel like flat mates,
Where your husbands seduction consists of one finger pointing towards the bedroom and the other hand on his dick,
Where you position the bed to have one foot against the door because for a loud bunch of kids, yours can be pretty quiet when they're sneaking up on people,
Where no matter how hot it is you chuck the doona on top of yourselves in case someone manages to barge through and catch mummy and daddy doing "yoga" in bed,
It's a pretty romantic scene really, listening to Iggle Piggle in the back ground, knowing your days are numbered when you here the add break.
Men are amazing and impressive creatures, by sheer determination, it's inspiring how one can manage to "finish" under such circumstances, us women, aren't always so easy.
All the while gleefully thinking about how much of a sex goddess, vixen you are and how your fella is finally going to stop being an arse for at least a whole day.
Well mine was pretty impressed, even if I just lied there, saggy boobs, baby belly pouch, hairy minge and all, he still thinks I'm amazing.
Hall told BuzzFeed she doesn't want to write anything "unless it's going to be real and honest".
She said sex as a parent was tougher because you have "massive time restrictions", and you have to "get yourself the fuck in the mood – at risk of just leaving it for another month".
"I don't write anything unless it's going to be real and honest," she said. "So I decided to write about the shag, pretty much because it was the most interesting thing that happened to me in the last couple of days, and then I sat down and had a serious think about what really goes on in my sex life."
She said she had "no idea" the post would blow up the way it did.
"I had to force myself to stop looking at my phone cos I was so excited," she said. Her husband, Bill, found it hilarious, she said, "Because it's freaking true!"