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A Definitive And Completely Accurate Guide To Ed Balls Day

An explainer for puzzled non-Britons.

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1. Ed Balls Day falls on 28 April every year.

It is now four years to the day since the shadow chancellor deliberately tweeted his own name in a bid to break Britain's internet. As a result, we are now compelled to celebrate his magnificent achievement once a year.

2. The excitement generally begins to build earlier in the month.

3. And with only a few days to go, it's almost the only thing anyone can think about.

OMG!!! THIS TUESDAY IS #EDBALLS DAY!!! Are you all ready, children?

4. The big day comes, and the people of Britain begin to celebrate.

Cake for breakfast! After all...it's Ed Balls day! Have a good one! #EdBalls #EdBallsDay

5. What has he left for them?

He's BEEN!!! Best #EdBallsDay EVER.

6. Sadly, of course, some will always be disappointed.

Oh. I left some whiskey, my tax return and a calculator out for #EdBallsDay, as is traditional, but he hasn't come. :(

7. As to what you actually do on Ed Balls Day, the instructions are relatively simple.

8. Many remember the early years of Ed Balls Day, when it was a much more innocent affair.

I remember #EdBallsDay as a child. Running downstairs in the morning to see if Ed Balls had left a baffling tweet under the Ed Balls Tree.

9. Needless to say, companies have been quick to get in on the act.

Love the Google doodle today. #EdBallsDay

10. In fact, it's that kind of commercialisation...

This whole #EdBallsDay thing is getting out of hand...

11. ...that's led to the tradition of everyone making the same joke about Ed Balls Day, and then joking about having made the same joke.

12. But the real spirit of Ed Balls Day is about more than that. It's a cultural event. A chance to celebrate with art, such as poetry...

Here is a poem which looks at the true significance of #EdBallsDay It's called "Ed Balls".

13. ...music...

Ed Balls Ed Balls Ed Balls #EdBallsDay https://t.co/EldEkPZq7z

14. ...and, of course, film.

Our American cousins commemorate #EdBallsDay

Happy #EdBallsDay everyone. Poor bloke.

15. At midnight, we remember the time he categorically didn't sit in a school with a pigeon, and the day is over.

16. But if you can't bear to wait until the next Ed Balls Day, BuzzFeed News has come up with a way for you to relive the magic whenever and wherever you like.

Tom Phillips / Paul Curry / BuzzFeed

You're welcome, world.