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A Definitive And Completely Accurate Guide To Ed Balls Day

An explainer for puzzled non-Britons.

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1. Ed Balls Day falls on 28 April every year.

It is now four years to the day since the shadow chancellor deliberately tweeted his own name in a bid to break Britain's internet. As a result, we are now compelled to celebrate his magnificent achievement once a year.

2. The excitement generally begins to build earlier in the month.

3. And with only a few days to go, it's almost the only thing anyone can think about.

OMG!!! THIS TUESDAY IS #EDBALLS DAY!!! Are you all ready, children?

4. The big day comes, and the people of Britain begin to celebrate.

Cake for breakfast! After's Ed Balls day! Have a good one! #EdBalls #EdBallsDay


5. What has he left for them?

He's BEEN!!! Best #EdBallsDay EVER.

6. Sadly, of course, some will always be disappointed.

Oh. I left some whiskey, my tax return and a calculator out for #EdBallsDay, as is traditional, but he hasn't come. :(

7. As to what you actually do on Ed Balls Day, the instructions are relatively simple.

8. Many remember the early years of Ed Balls Day, when it was a much more innocent affair.

I remember #EdBallsDay as a child. Running downstairs in the morning to see if Ed Balls had left a baffling tweet under the Ed Balls Tree.


9. Needless to say, companies have been quick to get in on the act.

Love the Google doodle today. #EdBallsDay

10. In fact, it's that kind of commercialisation...

This whole #EdBallsDay thing is getting out of hand...

12. But the real spirit of Ed Balls Day is about more than that. It's a cultural event. A chance to celebrate with art, such as poetry...

Here is a poem which looks at the true significance of #EdBallsDay It's called "Ed Balls".



Ed Balls Ed Balls Ed Balls #EdBallsDay

14. ...and, of course, film.

Our American cousins commemorate #EdBallsDay

Happy #EdBallsDay everyone. Poor bloke.


15. At midnight, we remember the time he categorically didn't sit in a school with a pigeon, and the day is over.