Nifty·Posted on Dec 17, 201511 Gifts Only A True Psychopath Would Ever GiveNOT TODAY, SATAN.by Alanna OkunBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. A bag of all yellow Starbursts. amazon.com 2. Socks that look like you're wearing sandals. amazon.com Like a goddamn MONSTER. 3. A bottle opener fedora. amazon.com / Via thisiswhyimbroke.com M'lady. 4. A 55-gallon keg of lube. amazon.com Personal lubricant is great; 55 gallons of it are not. 5. A shockingly realistic scrotum backpack. indiegogo.com Cool, great, awesome. 6. A vape disguised as an inhaler. shop.discreetvape.com / Via thisiswhyimbroke.com You seem fun. 7. This mug fit only for the dregs of humanity. theliterarygiftcompany.com 8. Jean underpants. japantrendshop.com 9. A card that won't stop playing music. kickstarter.com Until it runs out of juice, of course. 10. An enormous variety of gifts on Amazon. amazon.com amazon.com Here are many ideas but I bet you can get creative too! 11. A Hogwarts acceptance letter. etsy.com This is actually adorable, except for the harsh reminder that YOU DON'T GET TO GO TO HOGWARTS HAHA SUCKER.