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    27 Things My 8-Year-Old Self Would Probably Say To Me Now

    She'd dig my apartment and hate how often I eat Brussels sprouts.

    1. So, like, we're still REALLY into Zelda.

    2. No, no, I'm not judging!

    3. I guess I just kind of thought we'd be over video games by the time we got friends and boobs?

    4. And that's really as big as they're going to get? Just checking.

    5. Our nose and teeth, on the other hand, are just as big as ever.

    6. I don't want to hear about kissing. I'm 8.

    7. Wait, we actually ENJOY the taste of beer?

    8. THAT MUCH BEER? EVERY WEEK??

    9. I guess we have a lot of free time, since we don't have homework anymore. (Nice.)

    11. I'm glad we're still friends with Sara.

    12. I'm glad we're no longer friends with [redacted].

    13. It's cool that we still write, and still sing, and still knit.

    14. We're not actually that different, are we?

    15. And I'm getting the impression that we never actually feel like we're a Grown-Up(tm), even though we're now older than, like, a teacher?

    16. OUR PARENTS HAVE HOW MANY CATS?

    17. We really care a lot about "Twitter," huh?

    18. Please stop trying to explain the "internet" to me — it's somehow both stressful and boring.

    19. Definitely interested in hearing what happened to our Tamagotchis, though.

    20. I honestly can't believe that we can eat whatever we want whenever we want it and yet so actively seek out Brussels sprouts.

    21. We disgust me.

    22. Also, could you put your phone down for even one minute?

    23. That thing is...enormous, by the way.

    24. Wow, we make a lot of money!

    25. Wow, food and rent and transportation and just generally living in the world cost a lot of money!

    26. I'm sorry I didn't sell our Pokémon cards and Beanie Babies when I had the chance; I probably owe you like $5,000 now.

    27. Haha, just kidding! I'm 8.