1. As a kid: You’d wake up with a tickle in your throat, a flush to your face, and the sneaking sensation that YOU MIGHT GET TO SKIP SCHOOL.
What are a few sneezes and a runny nose compared with that hellish pre-algebra test?
3. As a kid: Someone was there to take care of you.
“Moooooom, I’m all out of Rocky Road, WHAT IF I DIE.”
6. As a kid: Your friends understood if you had to reschedule a playdate.
Like, they had to, since their parents dictated their social schedules.
8. As a kid: Going to the doctor sucked, but at least you had someone to drive you and wait with you and also there were lollipops.
9. As an adult: Going to the doctor is an expensive, difficult, time-consuming pain in the ass.
You mean you don’t love lugging your tired body to a sticky waiting room where you have to sit around for an hour and 15 minutes before some Yelp-approved asshole sticks a large needle in your forearm? Weird.
10. As a kid: You relished the time you got to spend by yourself, an oasis away from the drudgeries of school.
“Heh heh, those other nerds are probably playing kickball right now. Suckers.”
12. As a kid: Medicine was the grossest thing imaginable.
Unless it was Flintstones vitamins.
14. As a kid: Your deepest sick-day fear was throwing up everywhere.
16. As a kid: You were totally melodramatic.
“THE WORLD IS ENDING.”
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