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13 Salinger Characters Ranked In Order Of Dateability

"Yeah, I'd love to lie prostrate on the couch and discuss The Way of the Pilgrim while sipping gin all evening long! Sounds fun."

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9. Holden Caulfield

Between the premature greying, the crippling self-doubt, and the fact that he'd call you a phony at least 10000000 times while simultaneously trying to grab your breast and then if you're lucky drunk dial you from a payphone in the middle of the night? Cool.