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17 Nicolas Cage-Inspired Items You Deserve To Own

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY, NEVER EVER CHANGE.

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1. This sleep mask.

Sweet dreams are made of [this thing that you can and should own].

2. This piece of embroidery.

Inspired by the deep and abiding genius of our very own Jen Lewis. Get it here or just give the seller your money and send it to the BuzzFeed office, plz & thx.
etsy.com

Inspired by the deep and abiding genius of our very own Jen Lewis. Get it here or just give the seller your money and send it to the BuzzFeed office, plz & thx.

3. This baby onesie.

Never too early to start.

4. This delightful card.

Get it here.
etsy.com

Get it here.

5. This shirt.

Use it to express your emotions.

6. This Mona Lisa-mashup iPhone case.

Get it here.
etsy.com

Get it here.

7. This "Mrs. Nicolas Cage" bag.

It's legally binding.

8. This depiction of Nicolas Cage as Krampus.

Be very very good, boys and girls.
etsy.com

Be very very good, boys and girls.

9. This pillow.

Rest your weary head.
etsy.com

Rest your weary head.

10. This ring.

V. good for proposals of matrimony.

11. This break-resistant wine glass.

Available here.
etsy.com

Available here.

12. This Satanic t-shirt.

WORSHIP.

13. And this holy one.

Get it here.
etsy.com

Get it here.

14. This resin face mask.

From the description: "Choose White, Antique Gold, or Silver finish to match your collection or compliment any decor." That's right, ANY DECOR.
hauntedstudios.com

From the description: "Choose White, Antique Gold, or Silver finish to match your collection or compliment any decor." That's right, ANY DECOR.

15. These life-giving nail decals.

Your hands will thank you.
etsy.com

Your hands will thank you.

16. This painting of pugs*.

*Pugs that are Nicolas Cage.
etsy.com

*Pugs that are Nicolas Cage.

17. This photograph from the 1860s of a man who the seller claims is a vampiric/undead Nicolas Cage himself and which is being sold for $250,000.

I mean I guess idk.
The best things at three price points