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17 Nicolas Cage-Inspired Items You Deserve To Own

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY, NEVER EVER CHANGE.

1. This sleep mask.

2. This piece of embroidery.

etsy.com

Inspired by the deep and abiding genius of our very own Jen Lewis. Get it here or just give the seller your money and send it to the BuzzFeed office, plz & thx.

3. This baby onesie.

4. This delightful card.

etsy.com

Get it here.

5. This shirt.

6. This Mona Lisa-mashup iPhone case.

etsy.com

Get it here.

7. This "Mrs. Nicolas Cage" bag.

8. This depiction of Nicolas Cage as Krampus.

etsy.com

Be very very good, boys and girls.

9. This pillow.

etsy.com

Rest your weary head.

10. This ring.

11. This break-resistant wine glass.

etsy.com

Available here.

12. This Satanic t-shirt.

13. And this holy one.

etsy.com

Get it here.

14. This resin face mask.

hauntedstudios.com

From the description: "Choose White, Antique Gold, or Silver finish to match your collection or compliment any decor." That's right, ANY DECOR.

15. These life-giving nail decals.

etsy.com

Your hands will thank you.

16. This painting of pugs*.

etsy.com

*Pugs that are Nicolas Cage.

17. This photograph from the 1860s of a man who the seller claims is a vampiric/undead Nicolas Cage himself and which is being sold for $250,000.

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