17 Nicolas Cage-Inspired Items You Deserve To Own

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY, NEVER EVER CHANGE.

1. This sleep mask.

etsy.com

Sweet dreams are made of [this thing that you can and should own].

ID: 2243119

2. This piece of embroidery.

etsy.com

Inspired by the deep and abiding genius of our very own Jen Lewis. Get it here or just give the seller your money and send it to the BuzzFeed office, plz & thx.

ID: 2243065

3. This baby onesie.

cafepress.com

Never too early to start.

ID: 2243321

4. This delightful card.

etsy.com

Get it here.

ID: 2243215

5. This shirt.

etsy.com

Use it to express your emotions.

ID: 2243148

6. This Mona Lisa-mashup iPhone case.

etsy.com

Get it here.

ID: 2243088

7. This “Mrs. Nicolas Cage” bag.

etsy.com

It’s legally binding.

ID: 2243228

8. This depiction of Nicolas Cage as Krampus.

etsy.com

Be very very good, boys and girls.

ID: 2243254

9. This pillow.

etsy.com

Rest your weary head.

ID: 2243080

10. This ring.

etsy.com

V. good for proposals of matrimony.

ID: 2243092

11. This break-resistant wine glass.

etsy.com

Available here.

ID: 2243269

12. This Satanic t-shirt.

etsy.com

WORSHIP.

ID: 2243085

13. And this holy one.

etsy.com

Get it here.

ID: 2243220

14. This resin face mask.

hauntedstudios.com

From the description: “Choose White, Antique Gold, or Silver finish to match your collection or compliment any decor.” That’s right, ANY DECOR.

ID: 2243330

15. These life-giving nail decals.

etsy.com

Your hands will thank you.

ID: 2243104

16. This painting of pugs*.

etsy.com

*Pugs that are Nicolas Cage.

ID: 2243205

17. This photograph from the 1860s of a man who the seller claims is a vampiric/undead Nicolas Cage himself and which is being sold for $250,000.

etsy.com

I mean I guess idk.

ID: 2243182