For The Friend Who Has Everything, Give The Gift Of Nobility

For $49.99, anybody can become a lord or lady in Scotland.

A site called highlandtitles.com is selling plots of land in Glencoe, Scotland.

highlandtitles.com

Just owning land in Scotland apparently allows you to call yourself a lord or lady, and to that end, the website highlandtitles.com is selling plots to title-hungry foreigners. The plots, in Glencoe, Scotland, start at 1 square foot ($49.99) and go all the way up to 1,000 square feet. The biggest plots cost $899.99, but at least you'll have enough space to pitch a tent and throw a haggis party for all your new serfs*.

As explained in the FAQs, “As the owner of a Scottish estate, you will have the full rights to style yourself as a Laird (Lord) or Lady...This courtesy title should not be confused with a Noble Title such as those which are conferred by the Queen on the advice of her ministers. ‘Laird’ is not now nor has ever been a Noble title. It is simply a dignity given to a person through the courtesy of others who acknowledge their status as a Scottish Landowner.” However, the purchase does include a Master Title Deed, which means you can add the title to your driver's license and credit cards. It's just like Downton Abbey except with more tartan.

Highland Titles is run by a couple named Peter and Laura Belvis, and the land is operated as a nature reserve; proceeds from plot sales fund protection and conservation of the land.

Of course, you can also buy a bunch of personalized swag to celebrate your new title:

I dig the tartan-brim baseball cap the most. Find it all here.

*This is definitely not how Scottish hierarchy actually works.