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    Posted on Jan 15, 2013

    13 Reasons Why Having The Flu Is The Worst

    It sucks even harder than breakups or root canals.

    1. All of a sudden nobody wants to go near you.

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    Which is entirely reasonable, considering that epidemics and pandemics are legitimately serious things.

    2. And yet they're all totally willing to lecture you for not getting a flu shot.

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    Even if you already did!

    3. You feel like a husk of your former self.

    4. You're trapped inside your apartment*.

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    *house/ dorm room/ hovel/ palace/ doesn't matter where because no matter where it is, you will QUICKLY START TO LOATHE ITS VERY WALLS.

    5. Your mom gets disproportionately worried about you from three states away.

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    And all you want is for her to make you macaroni and scratch your back :(((

    6. You can't booty call.

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    Unless you're an evil demon who cares naught for the suffering of others.

    7. Your head throbs like some terrible low-rent dubstep song whenever you try to think.

    8. Your lips are so dry they feel like sandpaper.

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    No matter how much water you chug.

    9. You sound like a monster or a witch whenever you try to talk.

    10. All those "sick day" plans you had to hang out and watch TV are shot to hell by the fact that sitting up and looking at things feels like knives in your brain.

    11. It's all too easy to stumble across WebMD and start overdiagnosing yourself.

    12. Eating is hard.

    13. You start to actually miss going to work/ school/ whatever you generally do with your day.

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    At least your coworkers and classmaters are actual real humans you can interact with, rather than the dead Christmas tree you should have thrown out three weeks ago.

    But don't despair! You'll be over it before you know it.

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    Ready to take on the world.

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