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9 Burning Questions About The New "Jumanji" Movie

Where the EFF is Bonnie Hunt?

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The Jumanji trailer is here! And we all have questions. It's only natural.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

Welcome to the jungle, I guess?

1. So, what is this Jumanji about?

SO BASICALLY: Some teens are assigned to clean out their school's basement. They find an old video game. They get sucked into the video game and put in the bodies of the characters — Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Kevin Hart, Karen Gillan, and Jack Black. These characters are in a jungle. Chaos ensues.
Columbia Pictures

SO BASICALLY: Some teens are assigned to clean out their school's basement. They find an old video game. They get sucked into the video game and put in the bodies of the characters — Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Kevin Hart, Karen Gillan, and Jack Black. These characters are in a jungle. Chaos ensues.

2. Hold up — where's the board game?

Ummmm, not around, apparently!
Columbia Pictures

Ummmm, not around, apparently!

3. Who are those teens?

What we know is that this movie is centered on four teens, played at first by Alex Wolff (Spencer), Madison Iseman (Bethany), Ser'Darius Blain ("Fridge"), and Morgan Turner (Martha). But what I want to know is: Are these teens at all connected to the kids in the original Jumanji movie? Is Kirsten Dunst gonna show up in aging makeup playing a mom? Who are you, children??? Why are we here? Do any of your parents own a shoe factory?
Columbia Pictures

What we know is that this movie is centered on four teens, played at first by Alex Wolff (Spencer), Madison Iseman (Bethany), Ser'Darius Blain ("Fridge"), and Morgan Turner (Martha).

But what I want to know is: Are these teens at all connected to the kids in the original Jumanji movie? Is Kirsten Dunst gonna show up in aging makeup playing a mom? Who are you, children??? Why are we here? Do any of your parents own a shoe factory?

4. Are we actually going to spend any quality time with these teens?

Apparently, it depends how you define quality time. According to the trailer, TECHNICALLY the teen characters will be present throughout — though the actors playing the teens in their usual bodies might not get that much screentime. That sounds confusing. BUT BASICALLY: Once the teens get sucked into the video game, they're played by Johnson, Hart, Gillan, and Black.
Columbia Pictures

Apparently, it depends how you define quality time. According to the trailer, TECHNICALLY the teen characters will be present throughout — though the actors playing the teens in their usual bodies might not get that much screentime. That sounds confusing. BUT BASICALLY: Once the teens get sucked into the video game, they're played by Johnson, Hart, Gillan, and Black.

5. Wait, so now one of those teens is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?

It would appear so!
Columbia Pictures

It would appear so!

6. So...will this be at all like the original?

TriStar Pictures

A lot of weird things will probably happen to these kids, which is in keeping with the original. But other than that, probably not?????

7. Also, why is Karen Gillan wearing that outfit?

Apparently it's because it's a video game from the olden days — and that's just what they were like. But the existential question still stands.
Columbia Pictures

Apparently it's because it's a video game from the olden days — and that's just what they were like. But the existential question still stands.

8. Why is any of this happening?

TriStar Pictures / Via movieclips.com

This, on the other hand, is an existential question we all must ponder together.

9. AND WHERE IS BONNIE HUNT?

If only we knew.
TriStar Pictures

If only we knew.

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