13 Emmys We Should Really Give "Jessica Jones"

    Most of these don't exist, but they should.

    1. Outstanding Reminder of How Complex and Interesting Superhero Stories Can Be

    2. Outstanding Portrayal of a Living, Breathing Female Friendship

    3. Outstanding Portrayal of Trauma That Did More Than Feel Like Another Retread

    4. Outstanding Use of a Villain Far Too Many People Can Relate To

    5. Outstanding Use of a Face

    6. Outstanding Work Keeping Mike Colter in Our Lives and in Our Hearts at All Times

    7. Outstandingly Hot Sex Scenes Between Outstandingly Hot People

    8. Outstanding Employment of a Cheesy Catchphrase

    9. Outstanding Supporting Actress Constructed out of Pure Toughened Sunshine

    10. Outstanding Employment of a Leather Jacket

    11. Outstanding Justification of All Those Years Spent Loving Krysten Ritter

    12. Outstanding Adaptation of Beloved Comic Book Into Beloved TV Show

    13. Outstanding Burn From a Show's Official Social Media Account

    (Psst, Emmy voters: You should probably give them some real Emmys as well.)