I would marry Harry Potter's dad. Obviously, he's loyal and he was tragic; I always like a tragic figure. "Do" Sirius. I'm sorry, the dark broody thing -- also tragic, but the dark broody thing does a lot of things for me. I love romance novels, so I read a lot about those kind of men that need to be opened. And then I would kill Lupin because I don't really remember him that well, and hair is something...I'm not...werewolves don't anything for me. It's just too much, I would like to groom him first.
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger
Well, I'm sorry, kill Ron immediately. He's a fellow redhead, I should have a little bit of loyalty to, but no way. I've always wanted that incident in college where you're experimenting, so obviously I would do Hermione. I might have ended up with her, who knows! But I would probably marry Harry, because I feel like he has the long-term stability, loyalty, just like his dad. I would not like both of them at the same time, though — those are separate, right? I'm concerned now.
James Kirk, Nyota Uhura, Spock
I'm not into Kirk, I would have to kill Kirk. I'm sorry! The lady's man thing does not do anything for me. He's very arrogant, and he quite frankly probably has some diseases from all sorts of planets. So kill Kirk. Maybe marry Uhura? I feel like we would actually have a nice homestead together. We could adopt some children, or just have them with each of our eggs, that would be a nice equitable thing. I would definitely do Spock, because I would do anything to get some expression from him.
Simon Tam, Malcolm Reynolds, Hoban "Wash" Washburne
I guess I'd kill Simon. I'm sorry! I would do Mal, and I would marry Wash. I mean, I think that's pretty obvious, right? Fair? Sorry, Simon.
Zoe Washburne, Inara Serra, River Tam
Oh, do Inara. I mean, come on. Kill River. I'm sorry, I just need stability in my life. And I would marry Zoe. Again, stable. Nice solid relationship, we would tour the galaxy together. We would pick our vacation out a couple of years in advance and then we'd save up, as you do.
Doctor Horrible, Captain Hammer, Penny
Well, I would do myself because when else are you going to get the opportunity to? It's a one time thing, please, only for science. I would marry Doctor Horrible, because long-term I feel like I would want to guide him a little bit better. And I would have to kill Captain Hammer. He did me wrong.
Spike, Angel, Buffy Summers
Oh, do Spike. I mean, I was touched by Spike at one point – as a character! This is not...I know all these actors, this is awful. I would marry Buffy, I feel like we'd have a good home together, and she is a warrior. I'd just have to kill Angel, I'm sorry. I've actually never met [David Boreanaz] in person, so that's easier to say.
Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia
Definitely do Han Solo, I was in love with Harrison Ford from a very young age. I had a Star Wars bedspread that was probably flammable. It was very uncomfortable, too. It was very scratchy on both sides but I insisted on putting it on my bed. So I'd do Han Solo. I'm gonna have to break it up and kill Leia. Because I as a child wanted her hair so badly and then I realized that that's probably not her hair, and I felt betrayed. So kill her, marry Luke.
Chewbacca, C3PO, R2D2
I would do Chewbacca, because our hair's a similar color, so that would make a good video. R2D2 I would have to kill, because I have to be able to talk. So I'd marry C3PO.
Iron Man, Captain America, Thor
Kill Iron Man, instantly. I don't like the attitude. It's slightly chauvinist underneath, I have this feeling. Maybe not, it's fine. I would definitely do Captain America, because just like Spock I'd like to see him loosen up and get crazy. So what does that leave – I'd have to marry Thor. That's good! Thor would make beautiful, blonde babies. He's very strong, he's got good genes, so he'd make hearty babies. You do not want a fragile baby.
Tenth Doctor, Eleventh Doctor, Twelfth Doctor
I would to marry Tennant [Tenth Doctor], because he's my favorite Doctor, and I'd want to be with him every day. I have to say that I'd kill Matt Smith [Eleventh Doctor], only because everybody loves him and I've gotta counterculture him. And I've met him in real life in person and he's a lovely person, so I feel like I can say that. And then I'd have to have sex with Peter Capaldi [Twelfth Doctor], which is not bad. I saw him at Comic-Con in Hall H and his hair is magnificent.
Mystique, Jean Grey, Storm
I would have to do Mystique because she can be so many things! That's never going to get boring. I would have to marry Storm, because she's dominating. I would have to kill Jean Grey, which is sad because I love her character. But she's so tragic that it's OK to kill her. And she's better when she comes back to life.
Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne, Peeta Mellark
A lot of people are upset at me that I'm not a Peeta fan, so I'm sorry but I'm gonna kill Peeta. Gale I would definitely do, and then I would marry Katniss. Because she's a warrior, and she would definitely keep the table full if we needed to eat. And I could have hearty babies with Katniss, too.