You've said hello to the host (if you know them).You've said hello to as many people you know as you reasonably and politely can.You've attempted to make conversation with said people.All attempts at conversations are boring the shit outta you.You don't actually know anybody at this party.The one person you know is talking to somebody else.The person who's hosting doesn't have a pet you can distract yourself with.The food spread is underwhelming.The drink selection is just not doing it for you.It's unlikely anyone would actually be mad at you if you slipped out.The light has drained from your eyes.You are staring into the distance dreaming of your bed.You have some great leftovers waiting for you at home.The level of shade your leaving would trigger is probably worth those leftovers.The level of shade your leaving would trigger is probably worth your bed.You've spent more time staring at your phone than interacting with your party surroundings.You secretly hate the only person who's talking to you.This party is making you question why these are your friends.Someone is singing "Wonderwall" or threatening to.They're out of guacoamole.An ex is present and you're not on the best of terms.You could conceivably fit in at least one episode of your favorite TV show before bed.The internet is better than this place.You'd rather not be wearing pants right now.You're not drunk enough for this shit.
Can You Leave This Party Yet?
I mean, stay for an hour more if you want. But you could also be laying in your bed right now, so...think about that.
Wait fifteen minutes, say bye, then GO LAY IN YOUR BED.
Wait five minutes and then run for the door. Screw subtlety, your bed is waiting.
DOO IIIIIIIT. Free yourself. Break your shackles. Embrace your Netflix. Embrace your bed. Embrace leftovers. Embrave freedom.